


Because I Love You

by young_oldman



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Big Brother Diego Hargreeves, Big Brother Luther Hargreeves, Do I Know Where This Is Going?, I'm a vanya whore leave me alone, Luther Hargreeves Has a Human Body, Protective Siblings, Whump, five's kinda an asshole so he's not in this much, luther is the oldest and vanya is the youngest, no, sorta - Freeform, this is my first fic don't hate me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 39,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26827060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/young_oldman/pseuds/young_oldman
Summary: AU where Vanya met Leonard while in college. She struggles to deal with reconnecting with her family and ending a relationship that was doomed from the start.Idk y'all, I just wrote what I wanted to see in a fic.Oh also they're all like in their early twenties just because.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Luther Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves & Everyone, Vanya Hargreeves/Leonard Peabody
Comments: 5
Kudos: 50





	1. After the Academy

When Vanya left the academy at the age of 17, she had vowed to never look back. After everything she had been through, it wasn’t worth it to continue to drag the baggage that was her siblings behind. They had their lives, she had hers. What was the point in looking for a relationship that just wasn’t there? She needed a fresh start. That was the best possible thing. 

She didn’t take anything.

So Vanya got a job working full time at a Denny’s. It sucked. Everything about that first month sucked. She slept on stoops and in shelters for ages. But she eventually saved up enough to put down one months rent on an apartment. It was grimy and her neighbors were loud but it was home. 

Vanya no longer had any interest in the violin. Klaus had sold off her original one during one of his not so shining moments and she hadn’t had the heart to buy a new one. It reminded her of everything she hated about the Umbrella Academy, so she put it behind her. She refused to hold on to any toxic parts of her past life. Instead she began carving a different path for herself. She wasn’t sure particularly what she was interested in, so she went to college. She studied political science and history. Maybe it wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world, but she cared about it, and she had always been good in any classes pertaining to history as a child. Just as she was moving on to get her masters in poly-sci, she met him. 

Vanya had never really made time for love before. She was so focused on moving forward that she never even thought of stopping. She was 21 when Leonard first came into her life. He made her heart flutter every time she saw him. They seemed to fit together, where she was quiet, he was confident. He listened to her, he cared about her in a way that she’d never felt before. She could just sit with him for hours and talk about anything. He was her everything. 

They had bought a house together after a year of dating. Everything about their relationship was perfect. She only needed him, and he reminded her of that just by existing. He would be with her constantly, whenever either one of them needed anything, they were there for each other. Slowly but surely, he became the only person she ever needed to talk to. And she was happy with that. 

Vanya had a steady job working as a legislative assistant for the current mayor of The City. Leonard worked as a woodworker in a small shop he had inherited from his father. From what she had heard about his father, he sounded like a real piece of work. To that, she could relate. 

“Leonard? I’m home!” Vanya called out, setting her briefcase on the kitchen table. Today had been a good day, she’d been working her ass off for a promotion and finally she’d been compensated for her work. Leonard didn’t answer. “Hello? Anybody home?” She called out, fear settling in her gut. They were never apart for too long. She stepped into the living room, where her boyfriend was sitting on the easy chair, beer in hand. She noticed the many other beer bottles on the floor. “How was your day honey?”

“Shitty.” He said with a glare. 

“What happened?”

“I’m being evicted. The shop’s closing down.” He took another swig of beer. “That bitch of a landlords always had it out for me, you know that.”

“That's awful Lenny. I’m so sorry.” She whispered, picking up the empty bottles on the floor. “Would you want to come out with me tonight? A couple co-workers and I were going out for drinks, it might be nice for you to get out of the house for a little-.”

“And you’re just going to leave me? At a time like this? God Vanya, I thought you cared about me.” He spat, standing up so he towered over her. 

“I do, I really do. I can cancel tonight, if you would rather me stay here with you.” She spoke softly, she didn’t know what would set him off. When he got upset, it was best to tread lightly.

“I don’t fucking care, Vanya. You can make the right choice.” He stormed his way out of the house, slamming the door behind him as he went. She stood there, staring in shock for a brief moment. She didn’t know when he’d be back, but eventually she was sure that he would. In the meantime, she had a call to make. 

Vanya stayed up almost all night waiting for Leonard to come home. She had been pacing the floor in worry, and had left multiple messages on his phone. She had taken way over the dosage of her anxiety medication mindlessly and it was making her feel a little sick. Finally around two in the morning she heard the door open and close. In a rush she ran downstairs to greet him. 

He was very very drunk. His gaze turned to her. She feared what he might do, but instead of being aggressive, he gave her a hug. “Oh Vanya, I’m so sorry about earlier. I was under a lot of stress, with everything happening, I lost my temper a little bit. You know I love you so so much.”

“I love you too Leonard. Come on upstairs, I was worried sick.” 

“I love you Vanya.” He cried, hugging her and lifting her up off her feet. She laughed and lightly slapped his shoulder. 

“Put me down Lenny.” She smiled. He buried his face in the crook of her shoulder and carried her up the stairs, laughing and blabbering drunkenly. 

Everything was alright again.


	2. Rollercoaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya and Leonard's relationship is getting worse. She runs into a familiar face.

Leonard didn’t get another job. He was looking, but his heart wasn’t in it anymore. She knew how he felt, so she left it alone. He could take all the time he needed. Vanya however, had to keep working to support the family. Both Leonard and her knew that she needed to keep her mind focused on work. She got into the routine that she would only go to work and home, and to the pharmacy once a month to refill her medication. Leonard would got to store and get groceries, and he would spend the rest of his time on working on getting a new job, the rest of the time he would be at home. She knew he was stressed, and tried to not upset him more. Unfortunately it seemed that almost everything upset him nowadays. 

“Why haven’t you made dinner yet?”

“I’m so sorry honey, I got home late today, I had to work-.”

“It’s your day to make dinner! And you never work late! I thought that we had an agreement Vanya, I thought I could trust you!”

“Lenny, I’m sorry I really am. I just forgot to call.”

“You just forgot?” He laughed in disbelief. It was true, the mayor had made her stay late tonight to input the results from the newest poll. There had been an issue with the interns and she had had to handle it. 

“I really did Leonard. I’m so sorry. I’ll get started on dinner right now.”

“Vanya can I not count on you for anything? You know how stressed out I’ve been, I need you now more than ever! Are you cheating on me?”

“Of course not! I only go from work straight home. I swear to you. I would never be unfaithful! You’re my everything.”

“You spend too much time away from me Vanya, I just worry.”

“I would never cheat on you Leonard. I promise.” His face broke into a light smile. He pulled her in for a hug. 

“You know I only worry because you’re so beautiful. That’s all. I don’t want anybody snatching you away from me.” He smiled at her and kissed her cheek, moving aside her bangs so he could see her properly. “God I love you.”

“I love you too.”

=====  
She made salmon and potatoes for dinner that night and they ate in peace. He didn’t have another outburst. She stood to take her medicine and noticed that she was running low on pills. She’d need to go to the pharmacy tomorrow. 

“Leonard? I need to go to the pharmacy tomorrow, is that okay?” She asked, sitting across from him in the living room.

“Of course sweetie.” He smiled and looked up from his computer. “Text me your locations?”

“Absolutely.” She smiled and stood again. He just cared about her so much. That was all.   
The next morning, she went straight to work, running meetings and sorting out issues. The Mayors photo-op was cancelled due to snow, so she had had to deal with that, but over all it was a pretty laid back day. After work she went right to the pharmacy, texting Leonard when she left work and when she arrived. He did not answer. She walked in and walked out, getting a refill with relative ease. However, she wasn’t looking where she was going and ran smack dab into a familiar face on her way out. 

“Vanya?” Allison asked. She looked up and forced a smile. Vanya had tried for years to forget where she came from and now it was all bubbling up at once. “Oh my God it’s been so long!”

“Hey Allison!” She feined happiness, but Allison didn’t seem to notice. “It has been a while, how are you?”

“I can’t complain,” She grinned, pointing to a tabloid in a department window. “You know, my movie coming out and all, and my agent is thinking that I might be able to launch my new clothing line soon, so everything’s good here.”

“Oh well that’s great!” 

“So what about you? It’s been a couple years now, you just sort of left.”

“Yeah, I went to college, got my degree in political science. I’m working for the mayor now. As a legislative assistant.” She laughed awkwardly. “It’s alright, pays decent. So.” Allison looked around, seemingly scrambling for a new topic.

“Still playing the violin?”

“No, actually. I stopped playing when I lost my first violin.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. So what are you doing around these parts? Shouldn’t you be in Hollywood? I thought you left all this behind.”

“Well I was just in the area, I figured I hadn’t seen my siblings in a while, so why not drop in? I was just walking around The City, seeing if I could find anyone. Luther’s in space, so he’s not around. Five’s working for the Government and Diego’s a police officer which seems kind of crazy.” Allison laughed. “You sort of disappeared, so I figured I’d just walk around and see if I could find you.”

“So you were waiting by the pharmacy?” The thought made Vanya uncomfortable. She checked her watch. She was late. 

“Yeah, well I just wanted to see you.” Allison shrugged. “And I saw you.” They both looked around awkwardly. “Listen, we should have lunch together sometime. How does Thursday sound?”

“Oh, I’ll have to check with my boyfriend before I make any plans. Which reminds me, I have to head home. He’s expecting me.”

“Can’t he wait?”

“No, I have to get home. I guess I’ll call you? Do you have a number I could use?”

“Yeah sure.” Allison sighed, writing it down on a slip of paper. She looked at Vanya with a glint of pity in her eye. “Listen, if you ever need help, I’m right here.”

“Okay, it was nice seeing you.” Vanya smiled lightly and hurriedly walked away. She climbed into her car, so shaken from seeing her sister that she couldn’t think about anything else. The drive home sort of blurred into one long stretch. Had Allison been following her? How could she have known where Vanya’s pharmacy was? She had switched addresses when she moved. The only way that Allison could have found her would be if she was actively looking, and Vanya sure hoped that wasn’t the case. She didn’t have any desire to reconnect with the Academy. Allison was the opposite of her in all aspects. She was confident and tall, and she hadn’t worked for anything in her life. Allison just manipulated people into giving her what she wanted, Vanya couldn’t count the amount of times that she had gotten Vanya in trouble by rumoring her to do something. She could never remember it when it happened, but often times she’d find that she was in new situations being berated for things she couldn’t remember and Allison always ended up getting something out of it. Why all of the sudden would Allison want to be a good sister? She never had been before. 

Vanya wanted to be mad about seeing her sister, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. Vanya was so preoccupied thinking about Allison that she’d entirely forgotten about Leonard. And there he was, standing menacingly in front of the door. He smelled awful, like booze and garbage. 

“You’re late.”

“Sorry, I just met up with my sister, totally threw me for a loop. I mean I haven’t seen her for years and all of the sudden she shows up out of the-.”

“You’re late and you didn’t text.”

“I’m sorry Leonard, like I said, I got caught up.”

“I don’t fucking care!” He yelled. 

“Lenny! Are you drunk?” She asked, appalled at the sudden outburst.

“I don’t want you talking to your sister anymore! She’s a bad influence, you said so   
yourself.”

“She’s still family.”

“Your family has never been there for you. I have. I’m always here for you. They never loved and appreciated you like I do. They’re just going to make you feel awful about yourself again.”

“I appreciate the concern, but I think I really don’t know if completely cutting them out of my life is the best thing-.”

“Are you questioning me? I take care of you! And you’re going to go against what I’m telling you? What makes you think that you can trust them over me?”

“I don’t know.” She lost her confidence. Maybe he was right. “But you have no right to yell at me like that. I didn’t mean to come home late.”

“Yell at you? You wouldn’t listen to me! Sometimes the only way that I can get through your thick skull is if I raise my voice a little. God Vanya. Do you not appreciate any of the things that I do for you? You’re ridiculous.” 

“Leonard. Of course I appreciate you. I just sometimes want to decide things for myself, especially when it comes to my family-”

“You don’t know how to take care of yourself.” He said sweetly. “Come on Vanya, we do everything together. I got you out of that crummy apartment remember? It had rats Vanny.” He laughed lightly and she smiled. 

“Yeah it was gross.”

“Do you remember that guy who lived next to you? I swear he was such a perv.” Just like that Leonard had completely switched the conversation, and they became so enveloped in remembering the good times that she forgot about the bad times that were happening right now. They ended the night happy and in love. She really did love him, and he had done so much for her. She really didn’t know what she’d do without him.


	3. The Funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya learns that her father has died. She also gets a very much unwanted family reunion.

Their relationship was really good for the next few months. Outbursts were few, and when they happened she forgot quickly. Vanya never did call Allison. Lenny was right. She didn’t need any of that toxicity in her life anymore. She worked and came home. Leonard was nice enough to pick up her prescriptions now. He took good care of her.   
When he proposed, obviously she said yes. Maybe she was a little young, not even 23, but she was incredibly happy to be spending the rest of her life with him. Leonard wanted to keep the engagement a romantic thing between them, so she wasn’t supposed to call anyone. The weirdest thing though was, ever since they got engaged, he was drinking more and more. The second she got home, she was expected to take care of him. Get him a drink, make dinner. He would demand it, and when she failed to get it do him, he would get upset. Vanya figured it wasn’t all that odd, that was what her mother had done for Reginald. Besides, she wouldn’t want Leonard to leave. Those biting words turned into pushes, slaps. Vanya had to start wearing makeup to cover it up. A part of her said that this wasn’t right, but still, she stayed. Where else could she go if she didn’t have Leonard? 

He was her everything. 

Then she got the call. Her father had died. She was invited to the spreading of his ashes. That conversation with Leonard did not go well. That was the worst that she’d ever seen him. He yelled and screamed, calling her unfaithful. A liar. That she would rather see him alone and unhappy. He smacked her hard against the face and then he grabbed her by the hair and turned on the stove burner, pressing her hand up against it. She cried out in pain, but nobody could hear her, or care. That night she sobbed in the bathroom when he left. He didn’t tell her when he would be back, but she slept in an empty bed that night.   
The next evening she got dressed in a black dress and black heels, pulling her oversized blazer on top. Seeing her face in the mirror brought tears to her eyes. Older large bruises covered her skin and her face. Her cheek was an awful shade of yellow, and a bruise on her neck was an odd sort of gray. The newest on though, was right on her eye. A purpley-red and painful to the touch. Even worse was her hand. It hurt to even move, so she’d have to wear gloves. Quickly Vanya applied makeup and took a cab to the academy. She hadn’t been there in years. Just the thought of being back made her feel sick. She stared at the academy and swallowed heavily. Just breathe. She told herself, stepping slowly through the front doors. It seemed to be empty. 

“Hello? Anybody home?” She called out, praying that nobody would answer and she could just leave. No suck luck.

“Vanya?” Diego was standing at the top of the staircase.

“Hey Diego.” She smiled lightly and let him hug her. 

“God it’s been a while. How are you?”

“Good. I’ve got a good job. And I’m engaged.”

“Really? A fiance? That’s crazy, congrats Van,” He grinned. “Are we ever going to meet the guy?” Diego asked, falling into an overprotective brother role like she’d never left. The thought made Vanya a little uncomfortable She didn’t think that Leonard would like meeting her family. Technically, she wasn’t even supposed to be here.

“I don’t know Diego. Leonard is a little hesitant about me even being here. He knows how much I’m trying to forget this place.”

“But we’re still your family Vanya. If you don’t want us to meet him thats fine. But we’re still your family.” He repeated himself but she still was unsure.

“So anyways, what about you? Hows your job? I heard you’re a police officer now, congratulations! That was like your dream as a kid.” She smiled and squeezed his hand 

“It’s great! I’ve got this awesome girlfriend, Eudora. She’s amazing. Super smart, super pretty. She was in the police academy with me, and now we work at the same precinct together…” She listened intently as Diego went on about his girlfriend. He seemed really happy, Vanya was proud of him. 

Pretty soon, Luther came down to join them. He gave her a curt nod and began to express what he had been doing for dad before he died. He told them that he was thinking about coming back to earth permanently. She supported it. Vanya knew how badly everybody was affected by this place, the further away they were the better off everyone was. Eventually Klaus joined them. He looked tired and sick per usual. He was twitching constantly, and nearly looked emaciated. Nobody spoke on it, but Vanya noticed. 

Allison showed up next. Fashionably late, per usual, but she was there. Neither she nor Vanya mentioned the lunch date that they were supposed to have, but it was clear that Allison was ticked. Five never showed. Naturally.

“Alrighty, should we start the festivities?” Klaus said, sounding chipper. Everyone nodded and followed Pogo and Mom out the door. Vanya lagged behind. She had no desire to celebrate the life or death of her father. Why did I even come? Leonard’s gonna be mad at me. Guilt settled in her stomach. She knew that this would make Leonard upset and she went anyways. She supposed it was too late now. 

“Vanya dear, hurry along now.” Mom said with a smile. “Your siblings are all waiting for you.” Vanya nodded slightly and walked swiftly into the courtyard. It was raining. She hadn’t brought an umbrella with her. The irony, not having an umbrella at the umbrella academy. It was almost laughable. Luther held their fathers urn in his hand. He said a few words about what their father had done, and added room for comment. Nobody had anything to say. Except for Klaus. He always had something to say. 

“Dad was a little bitch.” He said. All of her siblings nodded. 

“Good riddance.” Allison said. The short ceremony ended, they all tramped back inside. Maybe they were meant to have small talk, but they all just sat on the couch in silence. 

“Did you all hear that Vanya got engaged?” Diego said, after a minute of quiet. There was a slight sound of modest interest, and congratulations. She nodded. 

“Is it the same boyfriend that you were talking about last time we met?”

“Yeah. We’ve been together for a couple years. I’m really happy.” She said it with such lackluster that Luther raised an eyebrow. She’d taken so much of her medication that it was impossible for her to feel any sort of emotion at all.

“How come we’ve never heard about him before?” He asked. 

“I don’t know, I haven’t talked to any of you in a while.” They all looked down in what seemed to be shame. “Anyways, I’ve got to get going. Leonard is expecting me.”

“He’s a grown man, can’t he wait?” Diego said.

“Well I guess so.” Vanya desperately wanted an out of this situation. “I just want to get home.” 

“Come on Vanny, just stay for a little longer.” Klaus said, pulling on her arm. “We haven’t seen you in so long.”

“Yeah come on, catch up.” Allison said, handing her a glass of whiskey which she sipped quietly. She wasn’t supposed to drink on her medication, but maybe just this once.

“So Luther, why did Dad put you on the moon in the first place?”

“I think he just wanted me out of the house to be honest-” Vanya didn’t hear the rest of the conversation. She didn’t feel good. It was like she wasn’t connected to the ground. She felt nauseous and out of place, but nobody seemed to notice. She supposed that they were used to her just listening when they had their conversations, so why should this silence be any different? Vanya sat in that awful living room, drinking glass after glass of whiskey until the sun had been down for an hour. The words of her siblings faded away into the air before they even reached her ears. She was waiting for something, anything to happen so that she could leave, but so far, nothing had happened. The large portrait of Reginald hanging over the mantel was glaring at her. She swore she saw it move.   
Her phone began to ring, she saw that it was Leonard. 

“Fuck, fuck sorry. Shit hold on.” She breathed out sharply and tried to focus. Allison glanced over at her. She had interrupted a story about a bank robber. She clicked the receiving button. “Hello?”

“You said you’d be home hours ago! I’ve been worried out of my mind!” Leonard shouted, everyone could hear him, it was so embarrassing. Vanya stood shakily and removed herself from the living room with her siblings. 

“No need to yell Leonard. I just lost track of time. I’ll be home in a few minutes.”

“Have you been drinking?”

“Have you?” She retorted, knowing that he had been. 

“Don’t pull that shit with me.”

“Sorry.”

“I thought you didn’t drink.”

“I didn’t, and then I came here. I’m sorry Leonard, I’ll be home in a second.”

“You better be”

“I’m sorry-.” He had hung up on her. She sighed and rubbed her face with her hands.

“Everything okay Vanya?” Diego asked. She looked up. They were all staring at her. She hated it. She tried to put her attention on gathering her things. 

“Yeah, it’s fine. I’m gonna call a car.”

“Sorry for keeping you, I didn’t know he’d care so much.” Klaus said, taking her half empty whiskey glass off the table. 

“No, he can be a lot, it’s fine.” She slumped back down on the couch and sent away for an Uber. Everyone was drinking their drinks awkwardly. 

“Are you sure it’s okay for you to go back home right now?” Allison asked, looking at Vanya with what seemed to be worry.

“Uh huh. He just knows how much I didn’t want to go today and I promised to be home at a certain time, and also I’ve been drinking and I don’t drink anymore.” She waved a hand. She felt liked she was talking too much. Was she talking too much?

“You’re not kidding about the no drinking thing, you’re such a lightweight.” Diego said jokingly, punching her in the arm. She shrugged, sitting up and looking over at the door. She wanted to leave. In a moment she got a notification for her Uber. Blue Sedan. She stood with a slight wave to her siblings and stepped as gracefully as possible out the door, saying goodbye to her mom and Pogo on the way out. 

On her way out the door, she popped three more of her anxiety pills, just grateful that it was over.


	4. Discussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The siblings discuss their concerns.  
> From nobodies POV because why not?  
> Also it's super short

Nobody seemed to want to break the awkward silence. They were all thinking the same thing though. That was weird. 

“Anybody else get bad vibes from her relationship with her fiance?” Klaus asked. There was a chorus of yeses and grunts. 

“What the hell was that phone call? I could hear him yelling from all the way across the room. That’s not okay.” Diego said, setting his drink down.

“When has she ever worn makeup before? She wasn’t even wearing anything when I saw her last and that was just a little bit ago.” Allison said, pondering the possibilities. “And she said something similar about Leonard waiting for her when we met up a while ago. Seemed really ancy to leave.”

“That’s probably because she hates us.” Luther shrugged. “We treated her like shit as kids.” 

“Yeah but she said that she had to check with him before she did anything. Maybe he stopped her from going to lunch with me!” Allison said, like she was a crime detective that had just solved a case. 

“Don’t get your hopes up. I think she just hates us.” Diego shrugged. 

“That phone call wasn’t good though. I do agree with Number Two on that one.” Luther said, waving his glass in Diego’s direction.

“I don’t know, what if she did get herself caught in a bad situation?” Klaus muttered. “What are we going to do then?”

“Nothing.” Said Diego, looking somberly at the rest of the family. “She can handle herself. It’s not our place to input ourselves in a relationship if Vanya doesn’t want anything to do with us. We could be totally off the mark and mess up her whole life.”

“Yeah. I guess you’re right.” Luther nodded, standing up to get everyones drinks. “All in agreement?” There was silence for a moment before they all muttered their agreement. 

“Okay. Diego, keep an eye out for her. If you hear any reports near where she lives go check up on her.”

“Yeah, of course.” He nodded. 

“Alright. Then it’s settled.” Luther said, dropping the topic. They didn’t mention Vanya for the rest of the night they just drank and reminisced about their horrible time spent in the Academy’s hallowed halls.


	5. Who Did I Marry?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya questions her relationship

When Vanya got home she realized that she’d made a massive mistake by even showing up. Leonard was livid. He had been drinking again, and even though she thought the previous night was the worst that he could get, she was terribly wrong. He screamed at the top of his lungs for over an hour, ranting about how she didn’t know what she was doing, and that she should have listened to him when he told her not to go. 

She knew that he knew best, and she knew that he only meant well for her. He said that he had been worried out of his mind looking for her, and that not only had she disrespected him, she’d disrespected herself and all the moral constructs that she’d set for herself in the past few years. Leonard told her that she was barely a child. Hardly self sufficient, and that she relied on him for everything. Maybe it was true, he had been her rock for years. He said that after all of today, he’d felt more mentally tired than he had in years, and it was her fault for not listening to him in the first place. She was driving him to an early grave. He told her that every time she went to her family, it was like she was abandoning him, just like his family had, and that he would leave her and take everything that they owned if it happened again. She pleaded with him, promised that it would never happen again, but that only made him more upset. 

“YOU’RE A LIAR! YOU SAID THAT LAST TIME, AND WHAT JUST HAPPENED?” He roared, she backed away. 

“My dad died Leonard, I had to go to his funeral!”

“I thought I taught you a lesson!” He yelled, throwing the closest thing to him, a lamp, at her. It hit Vanya square on the shoulder. She stumbled, going slightly backwards. 

“Leonard, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I don’t know what else-” She paused, trying to talk around his yelling. “I don’t know what else you want me to say!”   
Leonard continued ranting and raving in a drunken sort of manner, while she slowly slipped out of the living room and into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. He banged once, twice on the door, and then she heard him retreat, slamming the front door behind him. 

The second he had left, she began to cry. Sobs shaking her body, making her want to crawl into a little hole and never come out. Who was the man that had just been standing in front of her? Vanya felt her heart ache. Leonard was no longer the man she had fallen in love with, nor had he been for a very long time. She knew that, but even still, Vanya could not let go of him. He had been the first person to love her like that, and Vanya feared that he would be the only one. What if he was? What if this was it? She was engaged to him, and she did still love part of him. The part that would wake her up with a kiss on the cheek, the way that he would move her bangs to look at her properly. When he used to make dinner, and put on a record on the old record-player that had once been his father’s. And they would dance as the food simmered on the stove, blending together until the rest of the world faded away. She missed the days that he would sweep her off the feet when she got home from work and when he used to carve little things out of wood and give them to her.

That part of him is still there, she thought furiously, staring at the little wooden figurine of a boat sitting on the sink. I can’t give up yet. Vanya dragged herself to her feet, staring at her tears strewn reflection in the mirror. She turned slowly, as if no longer in her body, and began to run herself a bath. She undressed and stared at her bony figure in the mirror. She did not hate the way she looked. Her forehead was a little demanding, but bangs covered that pretty well. Vanya did not hate too much about herself. She did however, believe that most everyone hated her. Was it possible that Leonard now hated her too? The thought made Vanya’s stomach turn. 

He was all she had left. If he abandoned her, she didn’t know what she would do. Vanya stepped into the bathtub, sinking down until the water covered her face. She sat there underwater for a moment, pondering the feeling of drowning.

She sat up. 

She needed to be there for Leonard. 

She dunked her hair again, the water warm and inviting, and lathered soap into it. She rubbed soap over her bruises, the hot water ridding her of the permanent soreness she had been feeling. Why didn’t I do this sooner? She thought. Sure, showers were nice, but a nice hot bath made her feel as if she had been given a true hug for the first time in months. A hug from somebody she loved but did not know quite yet. 

She did not leave the water until it was nearly ice cold. From there she pulled on her black bathrobe and stared out the window at the rain that was still pouring down outside. Leonard was gone. He had taken her car. She would have to take a cab to work tomorrow. Broken glass and things littered the floor. The lamp that she had just bought a month ago layed shattered on the ground. She remembered the bruise it had given her. Vanya looked at the mess and grabbed a broom. 

Once that was taken care of, it was time for bed. If she wanted to make it to work remotely on time tomorrow, she would need to go to sleep now. Her bed was calling out to her. She had been sleeping alone for quite some time now. Leonard was hardly ever home when she went to sleep anymore and when she woke up he was usually passed out in his chair. So their bedroom became her bedroom. She was alone and safe and warm in here. He had yet to weaponize anything in here. This was her bubble. Vanya crawled under the covers and gripped her pillow tightly, imagining that it was Leonard, and that everything that he had done since they had gotten engaged was just a terrible terrible nightmare.

=====  
He didn’t come home for two nights. When he did, Leonard acted like nothing happened, that she was crazy. They tried to fall back into their regular routine, but Vanya was now pouring herself into her work and refused to come home unless she had to. She would make dinner the night before and leave it in the fridge for him to heat up. They had argued over that for weeks, but eventually he had given up and they stopped eating dinner together. Leonard wasn’t home much either. He was always hanging around with old friends out out at bars. She worried about him, he lost a lot of his inhibitions when he was drunk, but still she did not believe that it was her place to prevent him from healing the way he needed. A part of her knew that what he was doing wasn’t good for anyone, but she still ignored it. He was an adult. 

Vanya found herself staring at her engagement ring often. She was pondering whether or not this was the right choice. Was she really happy with him? Vanya thought about the bruises she kept having to coverup. The cuts, the split lips. She thought about her hand, covered with scar tissue. She shouldn’t run out of concealer after barely a month. That didn’t seem right. She loved Leonard, but she loved how he used to be. She loved him when he was happy. He’s not happy now. You need to support him, not leave him. She told herself. It wasn’t fair for her to leave when things got tough. Not everything was sunshine and rainbows in a good relationship. She just needed to support him through this rough time and eventually everything would go back to the way it was. 

Vanya pulled out her phone and texted him. 

“We need to talk. Can you be home by 6:00? I’ll make dinner.” Today was Friday. If all went well at dinner, they could enjoy the weekend together. She was excited. It was getting colder and colder and they were supposed to have the first frost this weekend. She envisioned sitting with him by the fire relaxing, just like they used to. That was best case scenario. Worst case would be that she would have to end the relationship. Vanya prayed that it wouldn’t come to that. 

Vanya’s heart was racing as she took a cab home that evening. She hadn’t gotten her car back from Leonard in quite some time. It was 5:22. She stepped inside. No sign of her fiance. She began working on dinner. She was making steak and potatoes with steamed broccoli. She had splurged on dinner tonight, hoping that it would make him feel a little better. 

Vanya sat at the empty kitchen table with the food laid out neatly in front of her. It was now 6:30. She didn’t think he was coming. Maybe she should just pack it all up and go lay down. She had gotten her hopes up for nothing. Just as she was about to put the food away, her car pulled into the driveway. There he was, not slouching, not looking raggedy. He looked sober, and cleaned up. She stood to greet him at the door. Leonard pulled her into a tight hug. 

“Sorry I’m late, traffic was crazy.”

“I’m just glad you’re here.” She laughed, cupping his face in her hands. “I miss you.”

“I miss us.” He said with a smile. “What’d you make for dinner?”

“Steak and potatoes.” She said, walking carefully over to the kitchen table. “It might not be as hot as it was a little bit ago, but it’s still warm.”

“It’s sounds great. Thanks Vanya.” Leonard said, kissing her cheek. That sort of praise hadn’t come out of his mouth in so long. 

“I’ll get wine.” She quickly grabbed a bottle of red from the kitchen counter, pouring a little into both of their glasses. “So what did you do today?”

“I actually just finished up my first week at work.” He grinned. “I had an interview with an accounting firm two weeks ago and I got the job.”

“Leonard! Why didn’t you tell me? That’s fantastic!” She grinned from ear to ear. That was the best news she’d heard in a long long time. 

“I wanted it to be a surprise. I know how hard it was for you when you were the only one working. Us taking a bit of a break really snapped me back to reality.” He smiled. Vanya was overjoyed. Scratch just relaxing by the fire. This was the best thing that could have happened tonight. “Plus I’m good with numbers and I’ve got a business degree. Accounting was really the best thing for me to do.”

“So how did your first week go?”

“Really well, my boss is great, and I sit next to the quietest deskmates imaginable. We all just are working for the weekend I guess.” He took a bite of steak. “Dinner tastes great Van.” He put his fork down. “So what did you want to talk to me about?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” She shrugged. Things were turning around. “Do you just want to have a nice weekend in?”

“That sounds perfect.” The night was filled with pleasant conversations and a warm fire, followed by a sound sleep in the same bed for the first time in forever.   
They got married the next week. In the courthouse with two of their college friends as witnesses. Vanya wore a plain white dress and he wore khaki pants and a button down. It was simple and it was enough. Vanya didn't really want a ton of attention on her, and a large wedding didn’t exactly sound good with their pocketbooks so this was the perfect situation. Leonard couldn’t really take off work quite yet since it was a brand new job so he wanted to hold off on a honeymoon. They just relished in the time after, feeling good together. 

Vanya didn’t even notice when it started to get bad again. The little aggressive snaps about dinner, pinching her on the arm when she forgot to do something. He wasn’t drinking anymore, and was making around 70k a year, so everything seemed alright at first glance. They went to bed together every night, and talked regularly after dinner. Vanya had gotten another promotion at the mayors office, and was making more money than ever, so everything seemed ot be turning up for the two of them. 

Vanya noticed that whenever the phone would ring, he would answer it before her and most times he would hang up after a few seconds before muttering “damn tele-marketers.” under his breath. At the beginning of November, Vanya got the flu. It had been going around the office, so it was inevitable that she was going to get it. Vanya didn’t have the best immune system, she used to get sick a lot as a kid. Leonard took care of everything for her so that she could stay home and heal. He picked up her prescription and got soup and tissues and everything he might need. 

“Just sleep Vanya, I don’t want you worrying about anything. If the phone rings, just let it go to voicemail, I’ll get it later. If you need anything, call me. Anything at all, and I’ll get it for you.”

“Thank you Lenny. But you need to go! You’ll be late.”

“Okay. Love you!” He said as he kissed her on the forehead, smiling at her as he left. She crept her way back to the couch where the TV was playing what seemed like an endless stream of infomercials. She kind of wanted a relief wrap now. An hour into the sick day she heard the phone ring. She listened to Leonard and didn’t answer. It rang again. And then again. After five times of ignoring it she stood and answered it. 

“Hello?” She said groggily.

“Oh my god Vanya is that you?”

“Yes, who is this?”

“It’s Klaus! I’ve been calling for days but your fiance keeps answering instead.” Really? Vanya thought. She wondered why he wouldn’t tell her that he was getting calls from her brother. 

“Leonard’s my husband. We got married last month.” Klaus was silent. “What do you need Klaus? I want to go back to bed.”

“Are you sick?”

“I’ve got the flu. What do you need?”

“Hold on, we’re coming over.”

“What? No wait-.” But he had already hung up. She paced the floor biting her nail. Why were they coming over? Who the hell was they? She didn’t want to sit down until she had figured out what the hell was going on. Luckily she didn’t have to wait long because before she knew it the three village idiots were knocking down her door. 

“Why in the world are you here?” She asked, her voice scratchy and quiet. 

“We need to talk.” Luther said gruffly, ignoring her complaints. 

“Don’t all of you have jobs you need to go be at?”

“No, this is important.” Diego muttered, leading her over to the couch. “Your husband is not who he says he is.”

“Ooo look a shamwow.” Klaus said, staring entranced at the TV. “I should get one.”

“Please leave me alone.” She muttered, looking the other direction. 

“Klaus, focus.” Luther said, snapping in front of him. 

"Vanya, I was looking him up-.” Diego started, She cried out in indignation, but he waved his hands frantically. “No! Can’t get mad, it was out of brotherly love I swear to you. I just wanted to make sure that he was an alright guy!”

“The point is, Vanya, Leonard is lying to you.”

“He’s a murderer! And not only that, Leonard isn’t even his real name! He’s gotten banned from six bars and two libraries! And he has 7 unpaid parking tickets!” Klaus shouted, unable to contain himself any longer.

“Yes, but the most important thing is that his real name is Harold Jenkins. When he was 13 he killed his dad, and was in jail for twelve years.”

“He has since moved here, changed his name, gone to college, met you, and here we are.” Diego finished.

“You need to get out of here. You can use one of the spare rooms at the academy.” Luther said.

“Sorry for kind of knocking down your wall when you moved.”

“You all are ridiculous.” She said, shaking her head. “You know, this is the first time that I’ve ever been truly happy, in my life. Okay? And Leonard takes care of me. I don’t need you spreading lies about him because you don’t like him.”

“I don’t like him because he’s a murderer!” Diego said. “I want you to be happy, and that’s why I think you need to leave, right now.”

“Vanya, be honest, has he ever been violent in the house? There's a recently spackled hole right over there.” Luther said. Vanya’s mind flickered over to the countless bruises she had accumulated in the months before they had gotten married. 

“That is none of your business.”

“He has, hasn’t he!” Klaus gasped. “Has he hit you?”

“No he hasn’t hit me! He’s a good man, and I love him.” Diego was looking at her face   
closely. Luther picked up her hand.

“What happened here?” 

“I didn’t know the burner was hot. That’s why I was wearing gloves at the funeral. I was letting it heal.” Partly true. “Listen. You all need to leave.”

“You have a gas stove. You would have been able to see the flame or would have a burn in the shape of the cast iron grate. That burn is completely across your hand.” Diego said quickly. She shook her head. 

“I didn’t notice the stove was on. It was my fault. You all need to leave.” She said it again, but still they didn’t get up. “Get out please.” She stood and pointed to the door.

“Vanya.” Luther said, putting a hand on her hand. “We care about you. Talk to him about it if you don’t believe us. But I’m serious. You need to get out of this relationship before something serious happens to you.”

“You don’t have any defenses, we just want to look out for you.”

"Please. Leave."

“Here. Mom made you soup and told you to call her.” Klaus said, handing her the container in his hand. 

“Out.” One by one they all filed out of her place. She was pissed that they would even come to her house like that, not to mention that they had just accused her husband of murder. She slammed the door behind them and locked it, walking back to the couch and putting the soup in the fridge. From there she shut the TV off, put a Peggy Lee album on the record player and sat and listened. She needed to call Mom and thank her for the soup.   
The conversation was short and mostly one sided.   
Hey Mom.   
Hello Vanya.   
How are you?   
I’m alright, thank you for the soup.   
You are very welcome. Is there anything else that you need?   
No, thank you Mom.  
For the flu I recommend lost of rest and liquids. Make sure that you take your medicine at the right times and eat a regular meal. If you ever throw up, drink lots of water.   
I know Mom. Thank you.   
I love you Vanya.   
I love you too.   
Was it possible to love a robot? Did Mom even really love her? It was just her programming. Vanya did not know. She didn’t want to think about it. 

The next question was, whether or not she’d bring up the incident of today with Leonard. Or Harold. Vanya didn’t believe her brothers, but she knew that maybe she should pay at least a little bit of attention to it. Leonard did have a history of being violent with her, and it was possible that they did care about her a little bit. It was hard to let go of her awful childhood though. She remembered Luther completely ignoring her unless he wanted to make her do something for him, Diego had used to use her for target practice, pinning her to walls by her clothes. Klaus was alright. Except for a few times that he had gotten in trouble and pinned it on her instead, he mostly ignored her, usually preferring to hang around Ben instead. She had been like a servant to her siblings. Lesser. Something without feelings or a brain. But she had both. Vanya wasn’t convinced that they had changed. They probably want you back at the academy so that they can use you again. She thought bitterly. 

If Leonard heard that she had taken a call even though he had told her not to, he would go ballistic. But at the same time, he had been blocking calls from her family, which wasn’t cool and was totally an invasion of her privacy. They had agreed that they would share things with each other, but should she share things if it could kill the relationship she had with her husband? And what if was true. What if he really was a murderer? What was she going to do then? Vanya was tempted to call somebody and ask for help, but who would she call? After debating all day, she finally decided that she would tell him. She would be honest. If it burned her in the end then she would have to live with that. She needed to be honest.

“Vanya, I’m home!” Leonard called, looking tired and worn. “How do you feel.” 

“Alright, a little woozy, but alright.” She said with a light smile. “How was your day?”

“Long.” He sighed. “I can’t wait for this week to be over. What about you, what did you do?”

“Watched about two hours of infomercials.” She grinned. “And I got a weird call.” Leonards smile dropped. His eyes sharpened. She hurried to finish before he exploded. “I didn’t answer the first few times, but he would not stop calling and it was giving me a headache so I went, and I answered.” She slowed down, trying to read his gaze. “It was Klaus. He told me you had been answering my calls instead, and refusing to let me talk to him.”

“Vanya I told you not to answer the phone. I can’t believe that you would go against me!”

“He and Diego and Luther came over here. I didn’t want them to, but they did.” She said louder than him. She noticed his finers gripping the chair. “They told me that not only are you lying to me about who you are, but also about your past. I don’t know if I believe them, but if it is true, I don’t know what to say.”

“Vanya.”

“Harold.” She said with a slight stutter. 

“That is not my name.” He sounded angry. Very very angry.

“If you are lying to me, I’m leaving.” She said, sounding braver than she felt. 

“You answered that phonecall without my permission. You had your family over here without my permission. They have tainted your brain. This is a shared household. You are meant to ask before you do something.”

“I paid for the mortgage alone for months. I paid for everything for months. This is my house.”

“Don’t you dare bring that up with me. I turned things around. When you were being difficult I turned things around for us. And you say that this house is yours? You just can’t have enough power can you?” He growled. His grip was tightening on the chair. He was about to throw something.

“Leonard I took care of you. Y-you’ve been lying to me,”

“Don’t you dare bring up my past with me!” He roared. “You have no FUCKING idea how hard it was for me! No clue! You lived your easy little life in a mansion and I had to live with an abusive father in a shit town with no end in sight!” Just like that she found herself losing her confidence. Being bratty or selfish was one of her greatest flaws. She knew that. “When I needed help with the shop, you weren’t there for me. You claim that I’m never there for you, but you weren’t there for me! When I needed it most, when I was going through it, you weren’t there!” He shouted, flinging the chair in her direction. “I had to sit through story after story of your miserable childhood, I supported you but did you ever listen to me? NO! How many times did I talk about my life. Plenty! But you don’t remember because you never listened to me!” Vanya was sure that he had never brought it up before. She was sure of it. “I can’t believe how one sided our relationship is Vanya!” Maybe she hadn’t been listening well enough. 

“I’m sorry Leonard.” 

“Don’t fucking do that Vanya. You keep saying that. It’s not fucking true. You’ve never thought about anybody but yourself. Ever.” He shoved her with that final word. She nearly lost her balance. Leonard turned around and grabbed his coat.

“You still lied to me.” She said quietly, tears forming in her eyes. “And you’re lying to me now. Leonard I think I need a break.”

“You need a break? YOU NEED A BREAK?” He roared. “Quit playing the victim Vanya! You have never been the victim in your entire life. Your father was right about you. You are a worthless piece of shit.” 

“No.” She said, her voice wavering. 

“No? Vanya. You. Are. Nothing.” He said, banging his hand on the table with each word. In a fit of anger, Vanya picked up a chair and threw it in his direction. If he hadn’t been mad before, he was now. He threw anything in reach at her, and when she tried to run out the door he chased her. He slammed the door and locked it, yelling in rage. Vanya turned and sprinted away, trying to lock herself in the bathroom, but he still beat her, throwing a book at her back so she fell down. He grabbed a fire poker and began to hit her with it, over and over again until as she could see was red from her blood, and then she saw nothing.


	6. The Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do I know what I'm talking about?   
> No.   
> No I don't.

Vanya woke up in a unfamiliar room. The lights were too bright and everything was much too loud. She could hear the people in the next room over talking like they were yelling in her ear. She heard the light beeping from her heart monitor like it was a bell. In a rush, she remember what had just happened. Her heart felt like it was being stretched in a taffy puller. 

Vanya managed to force open her eyes, and was happy to find that her own room was empty. 

It did not stay that way. 

A nurse came rushing in as soon as she woke up, how, she did not know. The woman explained that she was lucky to be alive. She had to get 24 stitches in her face and 13 on her torso. She had been ripped up with the fire poker, she had lost a lot of blood. Her eye might never be the same again. She could hardly see out of it. The nurse explained that it was a hyphema partnered with an orbital fracture. If not treated, she could lose total sight in that eye. The entire right side of her face had been practically destroyed. The doctors had done quick work to fix her teeth, which would explain the horrible sore feeling in her mouth. She was lucky that her head had been turned, otherwise she might have lost her as the nurse said ‘beautiful smile’. 

Vanya was not smiling. 

She felt numb in the face, but knew that the second the morphine wore off, she would   
have horrible pain all over her body. She looked up at the nurse and quietly asked her question. Her voice was scratchy and tired and almost silent.

“Who brought me here?”

“I’m not certain. When the police drop by later you can ask them.” The police. Maybe that meant Diego. She hoped that his precinct was far enough away from her area that he would not come. She did not need a royal told ya so right now. Vanya did however, need to speak with her lawyers. She needed to get a divorce. That much was clear. The thought made her feel sick to her stomach. She needed to figure out her finances, her housing, what steps to take after the split. At least you’re still young. Vanya thought. She was lucky in that sense. She still had time to meet someone and be happy again. Hopefully. 

“Mrs. Peabody, I need to know if you have any family that I can call.” The nurse asked, looking at a chart. Vanya shook her head. 

“Yes, she does.” She recognized Luther’s deep voice. She had heard his footfalls all the way up the stairs. “Vanya, don’t lie. I’m her brother.” He held out his hand for the nurse to shake and slipped her his ID. 

“You’re her brother?” The nurse said slowly, looking up to meet Luther’s gaze. 

“Adopted.” He said with a smile. “She’ll have a few more family members dropping in, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. Her doctor needs to discuss a few things about the healing process. It would be good for you all to be in that meeting.” The nurse smiled and left the room. Luther took a seat on the chair next to her. 

“I brought spare clothes from your house.” He said as he dropped a pile of fabric on the bed. “I didn’t really know what you liked to wear so I just brought a bit of everything. I also didn’t know what to do about um.” He waved his hand in front of his chest. “So if I didn’t get it right, I’m sorry.” Both he and Vanya flushed red. “So what happened.” He asked, leaning back in the chair. “I want you to tell me everything.” She ignored him and turned on her side. “Fine.” He sighed. “Diego called us all. He found out through a friend. Apparently your neighbor and her husband heard shouting and called the police. When the shouting stopped and she saw your husband walking out covered in blood, she called an ambulance to come get you. If she hadn’t found you when she did you’d be dead.” Luther looked at Vanya intently. “You’re staying at the academy with Mom. I hope you know that’s final.” She shook her head. 

“No. I can handle this.”

Luther smiled lightly and shook his head, like she was a child that had asked a stupid question. “Vanya you need somebody to make sure you’re eating enough. The doctor said you were super underweight. Plus, she’s lonely. Mom wants somebody to dote over again.” 

“I’ll do fine on my own.”

“No. Have you gotten into contact with your lawyers?” He changed the subject again, meaning that she had no say in the matter. Vanya shook her head no and looked to the floor. She didn’t want to think about all that quite yet. It was very daunting. “I’ll help talk to them. Just make sure you know what you want to say. The police are looking for Harold. He took off after he nearly killed you. I’m assuming you want a divorce and a restraining order?” The thought of Leonard made all of her emotions bubble up at once. She’d been trying to keep them at bay all the time she’d been conscious, but the thought of a divorce made everything seem real. She felt hot tears slipping down her cheeks. 

“He’s still my husband.” She said bitterly. 

“Your husband my ass, after all he did to you? You’re still defending him?”

“I want to talk to him.”

“He nearly killed you Vanya, are you not ending things with him?” Luther asked incredulously. She shrugged. “You’re ability to love things is unrivaled. He did not treat you right. He nearly killed you. You cannot stay with him after all of that.”

“He used to be better. He’s my husband.”

“Whatever he used to be, he is not anymore.”

“He got upset, Luther, can you blame him? We were doing really good before.”

“He lied to you. He beat you, on multiple occasions. You are too good for him. You have to know that Vanya.”

“You don’t know him.”

“But I know you. And I see the state you’re in now. As your brother, I cannot let you remain in a situation that is harmful to you. Besides, he is nowhere to be found.” Luther shrugged. The thought only made Vanya cry harder. She didn’t make any noise, but tears fell in droves down her face. Luther didn’t know what to do. He walked over and patted her back, as she was now hunched over with her face in her hands. 

“God Luther I leave you alone with her for two seconds.” Klaus said, now striding confidently into the room. “Didn’t I tell you Diego? He’s emotionally stunted.”

“You did say that, yes.” Diego said, clearly uncomfortable. “Luther, what did you do?” Vanya tried to pull herself together but all she could think was how unlucky she was that the only people that she knew that lived in the city were these three idiots. Leonard had made her drop most of her friends quickly after they started dating. 

“I mentioned the divorce.”

“Luther!” Klaus cried out, appalled, clearly. “Vanya, you don’t have to think about that for a long long time.”

“Well she at least needs to think about a restaining order, what if he comes back?” Diego said, making her look up at him like she’d been scandalized. Klaus mimicked the look and shook his head. 

“Why do all the other men in this family have the emotional capability of rocks?” Klaus asked, “No, not you. You’re a crier.” He added, looking over at an invisible person in the room. 

“Did her doctor talk about when that’ll heal?” Diego asked, looking at the one very swollen side of her face. 

“Two weeks for the eye to stop bleeding. Four for the orbital fracture. A handful for her stomach to heal.” Luther spoke like she wasn’t there. 

“I don’t understand why the doctor didn’t just talk to me, you all didn’t need to get involved.”

“You were unconscious Vanya. Also, I had a pamphlet.” Diego said, waving a slip of paper in the air.

“When can I go back to work?”

“Probably a week or two. You need to heal, physically and emotionally. You still working for the Mayor?” Diego said, looking at yet another pamphlet. She nodded. He was a good man, the Mayor. He would understand. He liked Vanya. 

“How do you feel?” Luther asked. How did she feel? Pretty shitty, honestly. She was dehydrated with the flu, feverish and her face hurt like hell. She had nearly been gutted the day before and now she was having to end the only relationship in her life that she had been happy in, even if it was brief. Vanya felt pretty much every single negative emotion at once compared to her usually apathetic self and it was probably because she hadn’t taken her medicine in two days. She needed it desperately, but it had not come to the hospital with her, and nobody else seemed to remember it.

“I want to go back to my house.”

“Sorry, you’re going to stay with Mom.” Diego warned, pointing an accusing finger in her face. “You get discharged from the hospital in a few days. Luther’s gonna drive you to the academy. 

“Why can’t I go back to my house?”

“Currently a crime scene.” He shook his head. “You can say thank you to the neighbors that saved your life though.”

She shrugged and looked out the door. The room was much to cramped for the four of them to be in together. She could still hear very loudly the other people in the hospital hallway. She hadn’t taken her medicine today, that might have been why. Today had been very stressful. 

“Don’t you also still have the flu?”

“Yeah, Vanny, maybe that’s why you look like death. You remind me of this one guy that I met walking in here, he died yesterday, isn’t that funny? Something about pneumonia I think-.” Klaus said, pausing from the soothing circles he’d been rubbing into her back.

“Klaus come on, not the time.” Diego said.

“And you called me emotionally stunted” Luther grumbled, looking over at the stack of magazines next to the chair. 

“I just want to get you to mom. She’ll know what to do.” Diego muttered. The nurse stepped back in with a trayful of medicine.

“I hope you got your normal conversation in, cause these’ll knock you right out.” She said with a wink. Vanya looked at them skeptically. One looked like it would go in her IV, and the rest looked pretty normal. She hated feeling this vulnerable, but after about a minute after taking the narcotics she was out like a light. 

=====  
When Vanya awoke again, she was laying in the bed in the middle of the night, Klaus curled up at her side. His hand was intertwined in her own in his way of being comforting. It was working. In the first few moments of waking up in an unfamiliar place seeing his face really calmed her down. She looked over and saw that Luther was still there, but Diego was not. He had his own apartment and a girlfriend. She didn’t expect him to stay. Vanya wanted to go back to her house. More than anything she wanted things to go back to the way they had been before she’d gotten herself in this mess. 

How could I be so stupid? Why didn’t I leave when I had the chance? She thought furiously, tears making her scrunch up her face. You still love him. Underneath the anger, he is still a good man. His father made him who he his today, its not his fault. She missed him terribly. She hoped he was doing alright. 

Vanya laid in the bed until she slowly drifted back to sleep. She woke again when the sun was up. Luther was speaking in a low voice outside of the room to who he referred to as officer. She sat up roughly and looked over at Klaus who was sitting in a chair looking through a tabloid. 

“She’s awake.” He called out into the hallway which prompted both Luther and the police officer to come into the hospital room. 

“Sorry to bother you Mrs. Peabody but I have some questions to ask you about your husband.” She and both of her brothers cringed at her last name. “Do you mind telling me what happened?” She nodded lightly and looked to the floor. It was easier if she didn’t make eye contact. As detailed as she possibly could, she explained what had happened the day that he tried to kill her. She spoke about how her brothers had come over and told her about his past, and that he wasn’t who he told her he was. She said that when he confronted her about it, he started getting defensive and violent. She explained that she had thrown a chair at him and tried to get away but he had locked the door and chased her through the house before tackling her and using a fire poker to try and kill her. The police officer nodded and began to ask questions about what their relationship had looked like before he had done this. She was honest. Things were good for a while, then they got worse, then they got better, and that cycle kept repeating until their last moments together. 

“What’s going to happen to him?”

“We can try to arrest him, and it most likely will go your way with your current state and multiple witnesses to past behavior, but the sad truth is is that most of these cases don’t go through. I would file a restraining order, just in case.” The police officer patted her hand and left the room. The doctor came back into her room and informed her of her meal plan (She was 10 pounds underweight) and what mediations to take and how to take them. She stayed in the hospital for another two days and was very glad to be alone for most of it. 

“We’re heading to the academy, are you ready?”

“I’ll ask again, can I please stay at a hotel?”

“You’d rather stay at a shitty hotel instead of with the best mother in the world? Do you really hate the Academy that much?” Klaus laughed giving her a sideways look. 

“Dad’s gone Vanya. It’s a little creepy, but it’s alright there.” Luther shrugged. It wasn’t dad that she was worried about. Dad was cold and absent in her childhood, but he wasn’t cruel. He wasn’t the one that laughed at her when she dropped a cup, he wasn’t the one who kicked her out of the library when she was trying to study, he wasn’t the one who told her to quit playing that awful violin because they’d had a long day and they don’t need any more annoyances. 

Dad was dead. 

She didn’t show any sign that she was listening. It was a lost battle anyways. On her last day she got dressed in the clothes that Luther had brought. It was an odd assortment of T-shirts, tank-tops and flannel pajama pants. It looked like he had just opened the one drawer. He had apparently given up on colour matching. The man wore essentially the same thing every day, so she couldn’t blame him. She put on a wife beater than had been Leonards (ironic) and a pair of oversized blue pajama pants. She received her medicine, and a stuffed animal elephant from Klaus and was sent on her way with Luther half walking half carrying her out the door. 

Klaus was sitting in the back with her, chattering on about whatever was going on his brain at that moment. Luther dropped him off at a bus stop per Klaus’s request, and then it was just 7 and 1. He drove to the Academy staring straight ahead, hands at two and ten. Once they arrived, he brought it upon himself to walk her through the crowd of fans waiting at the entrance. Luther was still a pretty big name in the media (PRETTY BOY SAVIOR HAS RETURNED! A headline she’d seen a week after her father’s funeral), but the crowd wasn’t anywhere near as big as it was when they were kids. She heard whispers like water on fire as she walked past, head down. 

As far as she knew, the public had never found out that there had been siblings. She had debated writing a book to tell her story, but had chickened out at the last minute. Writing something like that would have just turned everyone against her. She knew that she wasn’t the only child in that house that had had it rough. 

All of them suffered under the care of their father.


	7. And You're Sure There's Another Person In This House?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is from Luther point of view. I think he's just lonely.

Vanya had been living in the same house as Luther for a week and somehow he felt even lonelier than before. The fact that there was another human being in the house and still he had nobody to talk to just ate him up inside. He had only seen her once. One single time ten thousand and eighty minutes that had been in the week. She had been asleep on a chair in the dusty library and by the time he had gotten back from getting her a blanket, she was gone again. He had once checked in her room to see if she was in there but it had been empty. In fact, at a first glance it looked like nobody had ever been in there. Except for a singular towel hanging on the back of a door, he would not have known it was her room. When they were kids, she had always been playing the violin, but now there was no sign of her anywhere. No creaking doors, no squeaky floorboards (and the house was full of them). He wondered if she just had left the house, but there were a few signs of life. The extra dishes in the sink, the slowly diminishing stash of strawberry lemonade. 

He figured it was better for her if he just left her alone, so he did, until he couldn’t anymore. A letter had arrived, addressed to Vanya. It had been laying on the table for a day unopened. It was labelled urgent, she probably needed to see it. 

“Hey Mom?” He asked the robotic housewife. “Where’s Vanya? A letter arrived for her.”

“Third floor, the second business room with the green curtains. If you’d like I can deliver it to her.” His mom smiled. He shook his head. 

“I’ll get it. Thank you.” He didn’t even know that there was a business room with green curtains. Granted, he hadn’t explored the house much. Their father forbid it as children, saying that they needed to focus on training. Even as an adult he still maintained that fear of disobeying. He needed to break that habit. Slowly he headed his way up the stairs, finding Vanya exactly where mom had said she’d be. She looked tired and morose, not to mention unbelievably small curled up in that high backed chair. He knocked lightly on the door, causing her to jolt up in shock. 

She nodded as if to welcome him in, and she put her book down. “This came in the mail for you. I think it’s important.” She reached out for it and opened the envelope hungrily. Her face dropped into and even further frown as she read the long page. 

“God fucking damnit.” She nearly whispered. In a fit of emotion she slammed the papers down on the side table and covered her face in her hands. Timidly, Luther picked up the letter and began to skim it’s pages. Anger boiled in his blood, Vanya’s abusive fuck of a husband was trying to take her house. He was trying to take most of her money and for some messed up reason, his outlandish claim that him nearly killing her had been out of self defense was going to court. All because she had thrown a chair at him before he chased her down and beat her senseless. He probably should have been keeping up with what was going with Harold, but he hadn’t and now he had had the time to prepare a bullshit claim that honest to God might go through.

“We need to get in touch with your lawyers.”

Vanya looked away. 

“This cannot go through. I’ll help in anyway I can.” He tried his best to be comforting, but Luther had never been good at it before. “Come on. I’ll call the troops. We’ll figure this out.” She didn’t look up, her body shaking with sobs. “It’s going to be okay.” He took her arms in his hands and pulled into a tight hug. She just stood and took it, her tears making his shirt wet. “Let’s call the rest of the Academy. We can figure this out.” He took the letter and her book off the table and led her slowly out of the room. She was panicking, it was clear from the hyperventilation breaths and the slight shake of her hands as she tried to stop her tears. She frantically wiped them away, but still they would not stop coming. He had only seen her cry four times in their lives and two of those times had been in the past few weeks. This was all very new. 

Luther was now calling all of their siblings. Allison had been trying to get away from work since she’d learned Vanya was in the hospital, but upon hearing the new development in the story she delivered a breathey ‘fuck it’ and hung up, which Luther could only assume meant that she was coming. Diego said that he was already aware of the situation and was trying to tackle it from a legal standpoint, but apparently Harold had gotten the sleaziest lawyers in the whole city so it had been difficult. He said that he would come over around 6:00, after work. Klaus got about two seconds into the call and immediately hailed a cab, meaning that he would be there in a few minutes. Five said that he was sorry and that he was busy. He would not be coming. Vanya did not seem to be there. She stared out at the blizzard and did not make any indication of emotion. 

Did she even have a lawyer? The Academy had one on retainer, but she wasn’t a part of   
the academy. Their dad had told the public that there had only been six of them. Maybe they should tell people she existed. It was about time, but Luther wasn’t sure that Vanya would like the attention. She did seem to cower away when the spotlight was on her. He waited with her until Klaus arrived to take over the comforting. Luther wasn’t good at it. He just sort of sat there awkwardly and occasionally patted her back. 

Klaus appeared in a whirlwind, instantly trying to get her to focus on something else. It wasn’t really working but it was a valiant effort. Any attempt at comedy went in one ear and out the other, and any sort of distraction was ignored. Somehow, after they had been given something to eat from mom, she slipped away into the quiet house, hiding behind doors that none of the other siblings had ever opened before. Not even Mom knew where she was this time. ‘When you find her, will you ask if she’d like to help me with dinner?’ 

So it was just him and Klaus vs a massive house that they weren’t really familiar with.   
It shouldn’t have been as hard as it was to find her. The sun had dipped down and Diego had joined the search party. They discovered odd passage ways and weird stairways that led to rooms with nothing in it. One of them looked like a torture chamber, and another looked like it belonged in a spaceship (Luther would know, he lived in one for a couple years). Eventually they gave up, but it hadn’t been all that bad of a time. The three of them enjoyed exploring the house, and honestly Luther couldn’t remember the last time he was as carefree as that. Messing around with his brothers and digging through things that had once been forbidden had been nice for a change. He’d been so alone for so long. 

“Why the fuck would Reginald need a room full of purple chairs? What was that?” 

“And four libraries?”

“That’s nowhere near as weird as a room full of monochromatic chairs.”

“Why aren’t we talking about the 1960s nuclear war mannequins in the basement? Why would Dad-.”

“Sex thing?”

“Gross.”

“Sex thing.” Diego and Luther shoved each other into the kitchen where naturally Vanya and Mom were making dinner. 

“I needed to clear my head. I’ve got it all taken care of, the Mayor is helping out. It’s a good photo-op for him, so it all works out. I’m sorry I sent you all on a goose chase through the house, I should have reacted better.” She apologized, out of breath, which confused Luther, it seemed like just a silly thing to be apologizing for.

“It’s fine Vanya. I’m glad you’ve got everything figured out.” He laughed and rubbed her good shoulder. “I found out more about this house while looking for you than I have in 23 years of living in it.” 

“Why does dad have a spaceship in the attic?”

“I-I don’t know.” She smiled. “Did you all find the bombshelter with about a billion lollipops in it? That always just creates so many questions.” At their look of confusing she turned away, continuing to work on the potatoes for dinner. They hadn’t found the bombshelter suckers, but Luther wanted to find it now. Diego began to work alongside the two women as Klaus and Luther went to set the table. Tonight was meatloaf, salad and mashed potatoes with cherry pie for desert. Mom seemed very excited ot be able to spoil her children again and was preparing a feast just for them 

They all sat down at the table, Klaus talking animatedly about conspiracy theories he had formulated in the last hour while Vanya listened. Diego and Luther were now arguing over who had the more useful superpower:   
‘How often in every day life do you need to throw a knife perfectly? Never, that’s how often.’   
‘You don’t even really have powers, you're just sort of strong! That’s it Luther. And can you hold your breath for a longass time? I don’t think so.’   
‘Can you lift a fridge with your pinkie finger? No, you can’t. Don’t try to answer it, the answer is no. The question isn’t who has the coolest, it’s who has the most useful, and Allison has the coolest.’   
‘I could beat you in a fight.’  
‘No you couldn’t.’

It was extremely pleasant to be eating dinner with his family again. He hadn’t noticed things had changed until it was too late. It was as if, one day, Luther looked up and everyone he loved had been gone. Everyone had left. And then, he was on the moon even more alone. No living thing sin a plant that had sat on his countertop. Luther still didn’t understand why he had to be sent away, he supposed he just hadn’t been good enough for his father. The moon was his punishment. But now, with Vanya struggling, the smallest, the one that had always needed protecting, all of the siblings could come together on the one thing they all seemed to care about, their little sister. 

She wasn’t the youngest, they had all been born on the same day, but still all of the Hargreeves saw her as such. She was the only one that was ordinary, she couldn’t protect herself. That coupled with a young face and small stature didn’t really make her a formidable force in their lives. Luther remembered being very protective when they were younger, making sure that she was out of harms way. How could he have let her play with them when she didn’t have any powers? They could have killed her easily. It was better for her if she stayed away. Now, it seemed as if all of her siblings were trying to fix that rift as best they could, though it was clear she didn’t want anything to do with them. Just being there when she needed a shoulder to lean on was all that could be done. 

After dinner they all sat in the living room engaging in amicable conversation. The brothers talking, Vanya listening. Mom working on her cross-stitch. Allison arrived around 10:30 that night. Vanya stared straight down in silence as Allison nearly yelled about how she should have known and how she should have acted on the situation before it escalated. When Vanya did not react, Allison gave up and began to talk with Klaus about her latest rom-com. Luther had seen it too. It had not been half bad. About two minutes into the new conversation Vanya stood muttering something about going to sleep. They watched as she wandered back to her room where she could be left alone. 

“Did I do something to her? She seemed pissed off at me.” Allison said, looking over at the now empty chair. 

“Don’t take it personally Allison. This is the longest time I’ve been in a room with Vanya and she’s been living here for a week. I think she just wants to be alone.” Luther shrugged, picking at his cuticle nonchalantly.

“Still.” Allison shrugged.


	8. How Can You Pretend To Love Me Like That?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya's POV.   
> She's sad.  
> Who woulda thunk.

This past week had been the worst of Vanya’s life. That could go without saying. When she had gotten the letter in the mail explaining that she was being challenged for her own house and most of her money. She knew that she should have made him sign a prenup, but that conversation would not have gone over well and she wanted to avoid   
conversations that would have complicated things. 

It was good when it was good. 

Vanya hadn’t wanted to mess that up. 

Now, it was embarrassing to even look at her family. How could she have been so stupid? She had known something was wrong with the way that he had treated her, but she had been so desperate for love that she refused to let go. 

The worst part was, she was still in love with him. She wanted desperately for things to go back to the way they had been. She wished that she’d never even brought up his past with him. And was it really his fault? Yes, he had lied, but he was a free man. It was possible that he was just trying to escape who he used to be, just like she was. How could she have been mad at him for that? The guilt was weight so heavily on Vanya that the only place she wanted to be was buried six feet in the ground. 

She didn’t want to be around anybody but Leonard, but now he was pissed with her and somebody had paid his bail and he wasn’t even in trouble unless she worked her ass off to prove that he needed to be. And she didn’t care enough to do that to him. She loved him, why make him suffer?

Vanya couldn’t wait to be on her own again. The second she went back to work, she could slip out of the house without being noticed, but that would be a few days. Where she would stay, she wasn’t quite sure. With the legal issue with the house, she wasn’t sure she could go back there. Maybe she could stay at a hotel. That would be okay, right? Stay at a hotel until she could rent an apartment? Vanya couldn’t take out a loan, she was already drowning in student debt. 

To be honest, she was running out of options. And what about her clothes? Her stuff at her house? When would she be able to get that back? She's been living in the same three outfits for the past week, but she couldn’t wear flannel to work. What Vanya needed to do was write a list. Write everything down and figure out exactly what she needed to do to get her head put on straight. Yeah, that’s what she’d do. 

It had not helped. Looking at the sheer amount of things that she had to do only made things worse. Normally, when she was this stressed out she’d be popping her anxiety pills like candy, but right now their mom was regulating her intake, so that was not an option. Vanya tapped her fingers frantically on the roll-top desk in her room. She just needed to get out of this house. She had enough money in her bank account to afford renting a small apartment. That could get her through the potential loss, it would be okay. 

“What’s wrong.” Klaus was standing in her doorway. “You’re making Allison self conscious.”

How could he ask what was wrong? Everything was wrong. 

“Come on Vanny!” He said, draping himself across her bed in typical Klaus fashion. “I know it might seem crazy, but we actually want to help you, you know fix things now so that we all don’t die shrivelled unlovable husks in like two years.”

She shook her head. “Thank you Klaus, but really, I’m an adult. I can handle it.” She didn’t need the help. She could handle things on her own. If anything, being in the house was just stressing her out even more. She would leave once she started work again. That was final. 

“I have so many questions for you,” Klaus said, beginning to ramble. “Like how did you know about the weird basement bunker, and what else do you know about this house? When did you have time to map it all out? Are there more than four libraries? Is Leonard the only man you’ve ever fucked? What are the mannequins for? Does Dad have a thing for plastic people? I think he’s at the very least felt one of them up, just to feel something. Do you think he died a virgin? I think he did. Nobody could have ever loved him. I think he’s been old his whole life. He’s so sad.” Klaus continued talking and she just sort of stood there and let it happen. 

He talked for another thirty minutes until she faked a couple yawns and tried to seem like she really did just want to go to sleep. He gave her a tight hug and left her alone, closing her door on the way out. She sat on her bed, looking out the window. The blizzard had been raging on for the past three days, covering everything in about three feet of snow. It was a miracle any of her siblings had managed to make it home in the storm.

She was grateful that they had come, but the little sharp voice in the back of her head warned her that it was just their way of soothing their own conscious. She could remember how they treated her in her youth. It was dad’s fault, he taught them to be like that. She told herself, laying down on the bed. 

That’s not true. Ben treated you well, he would share his books and drawings with you. He cared about you. You would sit together on those dark nights when things got scary and he would be there for you. The others could have cared, but they didn’t. They treated you like shit.

No, they didn’t have the time. The Umbrella Academy was busy saving the world. I didn’t have to have the responsibility of doing that. I was lucky. She thought furiously, battling with her subconscious.

Ben found the time, and Five once did too. The others could have took the time out of their days to look in you direction but they didn’t. Do you remember when Diego would yell at you for even standing in the same room as them after a mission? To him you were nothing but a waste of space. You had it made, sitting in the mansion while they went out and worked. They didn’t care that you had already been yelled at by Reginald for an hour for the same reason. And later that night, when you had been sitting in your room, not bothering anybody, just as you’d learned to do, how he and Klaus had raced in, taking your homework and running off. They had thought it was funny. They were just letting off steam. Besides, you had had all day to work on it, and they had only had a few hours. It wasn’t fair to them.

I know how badly Father trained the two of them. Diego would nearly burst his lungs trying to be good enough, and Klaus had had to deal with the nightmares every day. Besides, I had had all day to work. They were worked to the bone. Our father was the villain.

Luther, who pointedly ignored you. You would ask a question, even to see if he wanted a cup of hot chocolate from Mom, and he wouldn’t even look in your direction.  
Dad told him not to, I was distracting. He would have been punished it he hadn’t listened.  
What about Allison, when she rumored you? She’d make you steal things. Remember when you woke up in that outlet mall with no memory of how you got there and a security guard on your tail? You had been punished for that. You hadn’t been allowed to leave your room for a week. And she laughed. She rumored you almost every day, you were like a toy to her. 

She was always in the public eye, things were hard for a her. Everybody judged her.  
Five, the way he would look down on you? Call you stupid, ask, how you managed to have all this extra time to study and still mess up on the simplest things? They would laugh when you got B’s and complain when you got A’s. 

It was true, I had no excuse. I had a lot of time for schoolwork.   
And worse of all. When Klaus took your violin. How can you forgive them for that, standing aside and doing nothing when the one thing that you loved in your life was taken away before their very eyes? They did not care. 

That was one Vanya had trouble disputing. She could remember that night. Ben had died a few days before. She had not spoken to anybody since his death. The entire academy was silent with grief. Klaus had barged in, his eyes sunken and red, hands scratching deep red marks into his arms. He had not taken Bens' death well. Over the past few years, he and Ben had become best of friends, thick as thieves. She had asked if he was okay, he had yelled at her, sharp incoherent words. Then, she’d watched as he grabbed her violin and stumbled away with it. She had followed, exclaiming how he couldn’t take it away from her, it was hers. He yelled that he needed it, that she was being selfish. Ben had been his best friend, and he was in pain. She had watched in horror as he shoved her to the floor and ran off with it out the front doors. It had never come back. She had begun to cry, horrible aching sobs, the first that she had let anybody see. Her siblings looked in her direction and turned away. They had not cared. They had known, but they had not cared. 

Nobody spoke of that night. Klaus hadn’t remembered it and nobody else cared to. She was mad about it, but felt mad about feeling mad. She didn’t have any right to be upset about it. Klaus had come a long way, and it was time to let bygones be bygones. Vanya turned over in her bed, squeezing her eyes tight. She was tired. Oh God was she tired. Everything seemed so bad, why did everything seem so bad? Leonard had never loved her, her siblings were only coming back because they felt guilty, her mom was a robot and none of her love had been real and she didn’t have anyone that really cared about her. It seemed like too much, to be having an existential crisis at a time like this but 

Vanya didn’t care. She wanted to do something.

The house had gone silent. Everyone was staying the night. But they were all asleep. Mom was charging. Vanya sat up painfully. She wanted to feel the cold night air slap her in the face. She didn’t want to feel numb and emotionless. She wanted to feel the freezing snow against her feet. As quiet as possible, Vanya slipped out of her room. She knew exactly which floorboards creaked, she knew which doors were oiled regularly and which ones were not. Her father and siblings had preferred if she was not there so she learned how to disappear. She crept down the stairs, taking note of every single thing that might be in her way so that she didn’t run into it. Her depth perception was a little off though, with her eye still healing so she was holding her hands out like zombie to feel her way around. Things were different now, the lamp had been moved two feet to the left, there was a new large couch, the older one had been broken during one of Luther and Diego’s fights. The same argument as always. Who was better. She didn’t know the answer. 

Vanya opened the back door and stepped outside into the snow, feeling the burning cold against her feet. The air was like icicles going down her throat as she stepped across the yard and cleared a bench of snow. Knees to chest, face to knees she sat, enjoying the fridgidness of the night, hoping that the snow would bury her. 

“Vanya, what are you doing?” Allison’s voice called out into the cold. She looked up slowly and tried to think of an answer. What was she doing out here?

“Getting some air.”

“It’s freezing. Come inside, you’ll get hypothermia.”

“I’d like to sit out here for a little while longer if you don’t mind.”

“I do mind. Get inside Vanya.”

“Allison, I appreciate you worrying about me, but I’m an adult. I can make my own   
decisions, no matter how stupid they may be.”

“The last time you were allowed to make your own decisions, you nearly got killed by your husband. I’m trying to look out for you, as your sister.” Vanya couldn’t bear looking at Allison any longer. It was the simpering sweetness that hung in her voice, the terrible look that hung in her gaze. She could tell that this was how Allison talked to a small child or an animal that she was trying to calm down. It was beginning to become grating.

“Allison. Please just leave me alone.”

“See, I knew that you were pissed with me. Talk to me! I want to know why.”

“I’m not upset with you, I promise.” Vanya said lighty. She refused to let it show how upset she was. 

“I know you are Vanya! Just tell me?”

“I’m alright, Allison.”

“I heard a rumor you told me the truth.” The words were biting but she felt their power wash over her, without restraint she blurted out her truths.

“You treated me like I was nothing our entire childhood. The things you would do to me? The things you would make me do? And now you come into my life, all of you messed up shits come into my life and try to tell me how to live it. It’s bullshit. Total bullshit.”

“Vanya, what the hell! We’re trying to help you, don’t get upset with me when I’m trying to help you.” Vanya felt herself gasping for air, disbelief and anger wracking her brain. 

“I can’t believe you’re getting mad at me.” Vanya whispered, the effects wearing off. “You made me tell you Allison, you can’t get mad at me when you rumor me first.”

“We’re trying to be your family! God what are you so afraid of? Stop pushing yourself away!”

“Allison I can’t believe you.” She shook her head, tears in her eyes, looking up at her pathetic sister. “I’m leaving. I-I can’t do this anymore.” She stood, her toes numb. 

“Vanya-.” Allison kept talking but there was no sound. She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t upset anymore. Everything went blank. 

=====  
Vanya awoke in the living room. It was light outside, her face was sore from smiling. Luther and Klaus were talking amicably while Mom poured her coffee. She recognized the feeling of confusion and realized what had happened. 

“Where’s Allison?”

“Upstairs I think. What’s wrong?” Luther asked, noticing that she was no longer smiling and listening politely. Vanya didn’t answer, just went upstairs to find Allison in the bathroom getting ready. 

“Vanya, listen don’t be mad at me-.”

“Don’t be mad at you? Allison you can’t be serious-.”

“I’m sorry!”

“You rumored me! Allison it’s so wrong, it’s so violating-.”

“Woah she rumored you? Not cool Allison.” Diego said, hearing the commotion from down the hall, Luther and Klaus nodded slightly, they had followed her up the stairs. 

“You were getting so upset last night! I just wanted you to come inside so you wouldn’t catch your death, I swear on it Vanya I only meant the best out of it.”

“I hate it here so much.” She laughed, even though it hurts. “You know what? I’m done. I’m just done.” She turned on her heel and walked into her room, defeated and tired, so so tired. In a flash she had grabbed everything that had been remotely important, snagged a her pill bottle out of the medicine cabinet and called a cab to pick her up a block away. She couldn’t stand being in this house any longer. 

Everything just seemed like too much. Vanya sat in the silence of the quality inn room she was staying in and felt her lip begin to quiver. She hated everything about her life, hated everything about her family. Fat tears began to to roll down her cheeks, she sobbed for the third time in the past few weeks, letting everything out that had happened wash out of her. Her phone was buzzing off the hook. She looked at it briefly, a missed call from Allison, three from Klaus and 38 from Leonard. She hadn’t talked to him since the incident. She had listened to a few of his messages though, most were desperate pleas for her to forgive him that turned into angry drunken rants about how much of a bitch she was a few minutes in. She had given up on the prospect of reasoning with him, it wasn’t worth it. 

Vanya collapsed onto the bed and curled in a ball. She didn’t want to move, but she knew that she would have to. She needed to get her clothes from her old house, find a new apartment- start fresh. Sleeping could wait. It had to wait. She called a cab to take her to her old house. 

It looked like nothing had happened. 

Empty. 

Neither she nor Leonard had been there since he nearly killed her, and that was clear. She had taken way too much of her medication before arriving which was the only thing stopping her from puking and bolting. Looking around, almost everything was back in place. The fire poker was missing from the stand, and so was the chair that she had thrown. The room smelled very strongly of bleach. Vanya quickly went up to her room and grabbed the clothes that she needed along with anything else that held any sentimental value. There wasn’t much (laptop, legal information, photo album, a few books.).   
Her eyes traveled to the pictures on the wall, Leonard and her when they had gone to Michigan last summer. The two of them standing together in front of this very house, the day they had moved in together. Their wedding day. 

They had been so happy, and she remembered how much she had loved him, how much he had loved her. 

She was crying again, just because her heart hurt so so much. She could hardly breathe, looking at his face. Vanya slumped down in the hallway for a few minutes, gathering herself together so that she could leave it all behind. It would be difficult, that was for sure. She managed to pull herself to her feet and stumbled out of the house and back into another taxi. She needed to move on. She couldn’t keep doing this.

The hotel room was just as lonely as it had been before, but now she had a new quest. She was looking for a new apartment. Small and far away, but close enough to city hall so that she could keep her job. That should be easy enough. She browsed the web and found a quaint little place on the other side of town, one bed one bath, pretty cheap. She put down a payment for a months rent, she’d move in in a few days, purchase furniture, the whole nine yards. Even if she won the case, Vanya would just sell her old house. 

She didn’t need those bad memories.


	9. When are things going to get better?

The next few weeks Vanya worked. That was it. She hardly slept, hardly ate, didn’t take care of herself except when it was at the expense of others and tried to prepare for the upcoming trial. She was taking almost triple her medication dosage on the regular just to keep her head on straight. The world had faded into a dull gray buzz in the background, her job and her lawyers becoming the only things in her life. She had moved into her new apartment at this point, made acquaintances with her neighbors and tried to pretend she didn’t exist. As the date of the trial neared, she found herself popping a pill anytime she felt anxious, which was practically all the time. She didn’t feel anything, didn’t speak unless spoken to, and could hardly see by the end of it. 

Vanya had been working, but it had been a blur. She spilled hot coffee on her hands. Didn’t flinch. Then she was at home on her bed. When did I get here? It didn’t matter. She was here now. She thought about what was to come. Two more pills down the hatch. Her vision blurred. She couldn’t hear. What if Leonard wins? How can I get over that humiliation? A few more. And then more still. She found herself shaking an empty bottle. Hadn’t she re-filled last week? She slipped down onto the floor, feeling weightless. Her room began to disappear around her, everything slipping away into nothing. 

======  
It’s always panic inducing when you awake in a room with no memory of how you got there. It took Vanya a minute to remember why she was crumpled up on her bedroom floor. Vanya groaned and rolled onto her back, feeling the aches and pains that staying in one position for so long might cause. Her brain felt like a limp piece of felt, and her arms felt like overcooked spaghetti noodles. She pushed her arms against the floor in an attempt to stand but she fell down, once, twice, three times. The fourth try she managed to stand well enough that she could lean on her bedpost and grip her phone. It was 4:00 am on December 12th. She’d been out of it for over a day. 

Vanya sighed and got to work setting everything straight. Shower taken, pijamas on, email to her boss sent. She drank a glass of water and sat down shakily on her couch, trying to piece together what had happened. She didn’t remember much. One second she’d been at work, the next she’d been on her bedroom floor completely out of it. 

She dug under her bed, looking for clues when she found it. The empty pill bottle. It came to her in pieces. She knew she was lucky to be alive, but still she needed another pill. She stood, hoping that there was an extra bottle in her butter dish, but deep down she knew it wouldn’t be there if she looked. She’d used up her refill and she wasn’t due for another for a month. Maybe if she called to explain things they could get it in sooner, but Vanya doubted it. 

How could she have been so stupid? She’d known that she was using her refill this whole time and still she’d managed to take it all in the span of a week. Her heart was pounding. It rose in a creciendo, louder and louder until it was the only thing she could hear. It was the sound of all the cups in her sink bursting that shook her out of it. 

“What the hell?” She asked to nobody, her voice quivering in fear. There was no answer, just an odd sort of coincidence. I need to go to sleep. I’m seeing things. She thought, wandering slowly over to her bed so she could get some well needed rest. 

It was odd, being off her medication. Sometimes she’d wake up with her room looking like a tornado had blown through it. Other times it would start raining when she felt particularly upset. Odd little things like that made Vanya more on edge. At the same time, she realized that she felt a lot better off the medication. Food had flavour, colors were more vibrant, everything seemed much more enjoyable. She could feeling like happiness and joy were so much more prominent that it almost burst her heart in the moment. On the flip side, unfortunately, negative emotions like the depression and anxiety when they came knocking ruined her. She could hardly move when the tidal wave of emotion hit her. Everything was just so confusing and with each passing hour, she had more questions about what that medication really did. But Vanya couldn’t focus on it now. The trial was here.

On the morning of, she shakily got dressed and almost in a trance walked out of her house. It was 9:00 am and she was sitting on the bench next to her lawyers. She turned and glanced into the crowd behind her, Luther and Diego were sitting there, why, she didn’t know, but she was glad that they had come. Leonard was sitting menacingly ten feet away. She hadn’t seen him since that night but he had been all she’d thought about. She gripped the table with all her might. The rest was a blur. She could remember her heart pounding out of her chest as she’d gone up to testify, could remember how Leonards eyes had burned into her, how he had snapped his pencil with his hand when she repeated the story. He was riding on the claim that she’d thrown a chair at him, she was riding on the claim that he’d done it first. It seemed very juvenile, when she thought about it, so Vanya didn’t think about it. She wasn’t thinking about anything. 

Her lawyer had to shake her and tell her that she’d won. The world had blended out into a dull roar at that point. She had had the pleasure of handing Leonard the divorce papers for him to sign and getting it finalized right then and there. She was finally free. 

“Vanya!” Luther called, pushing past the crowd to get to her. She sunk into his arms in relief, unable to believe that it was finally finally done. “I’m so happy for you Van. Drinks on me, okay?” She looked up and wiped tears from her eyes, nodding frantically. 

“I can’t believe it’s over.” She said lighty, feeling like she was floating. 

“We need to leave, paparazzi’s taking over.” Diego called from the exit. “Come on.” He grabbed her arm and guided her through the crowd, moving them aside like he usually could with bullets. “I don’t even want to see the headline tomorrow.” He muttered angrily. Two ex-superheroes at a courthouse with a random girl was bound to turn some heads. She shrugged, she was fine with nobody knowing she existed, she did just fine for herself without being affiliated with the Umbrella Academy.

“You look like you haven’t slept in weeks. You need a break.” Luther patted her back in a sad attempt to be reassuring.

“Alright-.” She started, picking lint off of her shirt. She hadn’t been looking up when a familiar voiced called her name. 

“Vanya!” Leonard yelled, walking over to her with a gun in his hands. It was hanging limp at his side, but she knew that was going to change. She widened her eyes in shock and looked up at Luther who was now standing protectively in front of her. She pushed him aside. “How could you?” He asked, that kind and hurt tone creeping into his voice. She felt a moment of shame, how could she have done this?

"Leonard, please." She said, pleading with a man who had left months ago.

"Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't play the victim."

"I-." She stammered, unable to find the words. 

"I love you." He said, his eyes pleading, like a puppy.Those three words hit her like a sack of bricks. The rest of the world had long since faded away. It was just her and Leonard. 

"I love you too." She said, her voice and heart breaking all in one. "But I can't do this anymore." His expression turned slightly. She recognized it as his temper ready to blow. Like someone had pulled a pin from a grenade. The calm before a storm.

"You don't love me. A person who loved me wouldn't be taking my life away from me." He said, playing the victim. Vanya almost forgot what he had done to her. 

"And if you loved me, you wouldn't have done what you did."

"I lost control, I know that now, but I don't deserve this."

"You're right." She said, trying to muster the courage to say her next few words. "You deserve much more." His temper began to flood through, the dam broken. The world zoomed out, she became aware of Luther and Diego moving instictively in front of her, the cameras flashing in the corner of her eye.

"I'm going to kill you." He said, his voice not even sounding like his own. A wild look hung in his eyes, his arm began to raise, he was about to do something stupid. 

“Just calm down now-.” Luther said, “Vanya will you go wait by the car?” She pretended not to hear him and stepped closer to him. 

“Leonard please, lets be adults about this.”

“I took care you you Vanya, I loved you more than any one of those assholes ever did and this is how you repay me? You take my house, my money and my reputation?”

“You’re dead you little-” Diego started to yell, but Vanya threw out a hand to stop him.

“Lenny-”

“If I’m going down, I’m taking you with me-.” It all happened so fast, he grabbed her arm and pulled her to his chest, the gun pointed at her head. The trigger was pulled and in an instinctive movement she tensed her body in a meek attempt to prepare for the bullets...

They never came. Instead, a massive explosion, everyone was knocked off their feet, thrown in different directions. Everyone except for her. The world was silent, her ears ringing.They were lucky the parking lot was almost empty, and only a few cars and a few buildings were affected. She looked around in shock, noticing the crater that she was standing in, and her brothers crumpled 25 feet away from where they had originally been standing. She scrambled over to them, feeling a brief pain in her side and then another. She didn’t pay attention. 

“Are you okay? Luther, Digeo, please.”

“What in the hell was that?” Luther said slowly, rubbing his head. She sighed out in relief and hugged him, turning her attention to Diego who was just coming to.

“Diego are you okay? Say something, please-.”

“I’m fine.” Vanya stood shakily and helped him to his feet. She was beginning to noticed a really sharp pain in her side, it made it hard to breathe. “What the hell happened?”

“I-I don’t know.” She whispered, feeling faint. “I don’t feel so good.” She looked down at her abdomen, and gently touched the pain in her side. Blood. A lot of blood. She looked up at her brothers again. Just before they could react, another bullet hit her in the leg. 

Her head hit the asphalt and that was it.


	10. Back in Hell Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotta emotions. Vanya discovers the truth behind the little white pills.  
> This shit gives you whiplash from angst to fluff so have fun with that.

She woke up at the academy. The room was empty but voices downstairs told her that the rest of the house wasn’t. The IV dripped slowly, it was so loud. What had just happened? Was Leonard okay? She had realized that he’d shot her, but she didn’t know what had happened after that. Had he run off in time? She hated that she still cared about him. Hated that she would never be able to really get him out of her heart. He would be a part of her, always. And there wasn’t anything she could do about it. 

Shakily, she sat up, her abdomen was incredibly sore, and just the movement from laying to sitting made her nearly pass out. Slowly and carefully, she swung her legs over to the side of the bed and pulled the IV out of her arm. Leaning against the wall she stumbled out into the hallways and nearly fell down the stairs. Luther and Diego were talking in the living room in hushed tones, she was certain she wasn’t supposed to hear. 

“Where’s Leonard.”

“Vanya? What the hell? You need to get back in bed.”

“Where’s Leonard.” She repeated, ignoring Diego.

“Bed, Vanya.” Luther commanded, but she remained in the same place. 

“Is he dead?”

“We can talk about this later, okay? You need rest.”

“Is. He. Dead.” She bit, each word as sharp as she could make it. 

“No. He’s not dead” Diego said quietly. His face contorted in shame. She suddenly became aware of the rain pouring down outside.

“What did you do to him?” She asked gently, trying her best not to show how distraught his reaction had made her. She needed to know if it was time for her to leave. 

“You were bleeding out on the ground Vanya, can you blame me?”

“He’s my husband!” She shouted, countering his much too calm tone.

“Ex-Husband.” Luther muttered.

“What. Did. You. Do.” She said, annunciating every word carefully.

“You should have seen him Vanya, he was sick. He’s a sick twisted man and he deserved everything I did to him.”

“What. Did. You. Do?” She asked again, softer this time, as to not seem as though she   
was as upset as she was. 

“Vanya I think you need to head on back to bed, you shouldn’t even be sitting upright, and walking with that leg-.” Luther began, attempting to avoid the fight that was about to break out. He knew Vanya would lose.

“Quiet.” She snapped, losing her temperament. “Diego that man, no matter what he did or who he is now was the love of my life. Nothing can erase that. I want you to tell me what he did so that I can know whether or not I need to leave this house.”

“How can you still love him! After all he did?” Diego shouted, his voice carrying to the ceiling and the floors above. “That man laughed, as you were bleeding out on the pavement I watched him and he laughed. And to think, this isn’t even the first time he’s nearly killed you!” Diego barked, a sharp cruel sound. “You are a goddamn fool if that can’t pull you away.” She felt a tug in her gut, the sound of the skipping record player much louder than it had been before. 

“I love him because he was the man that I waited for for twenty years! He was kind, and genuine and he treated me like I was on his level. That I wasn’t a subhuman.” She spat, the anger boiling over inside of her. “And he loved me, which is more than I could say for any of you fuckheads. I lived in this house for sixteen years, sixteen fucking years with Spaceboy and the Kraken and all the rest of you and Leonard Peobody was the first person to ever give me a hug! The first person to ever tell me that they loved me, the first goddamn person to give me more than a passing glance.” Luther was looking down at the floor, but Diego was still continuing with his anger. He had always been the hotheaded one in the family. 

“How can you say that Vanya. If you can’t tell, we’re trying! You abandoned this family, not us. We reached out to you, tried to make connections, you never responded! It’s not my fault that you refused to answer.”

“Fuck you Diego.” She said, the words almost rolling off of her tongue.

“Oh fuck me? Fuck you! I attacked Leonard to defend you, if you haven’t noticed, I’m   
here, waiting at the Academy because you were dying. If that isn’t love then I don’t know how to help you. Harold Jenkins? The man who brutally abused you for months, probably years, that’s not love, that was never love.”

“You didn’t know him. You don’t know him.” He didn’t. None of her siblings had been in her life when things were good. They just show up now and decide that he wasn’t ever good for her. He had helped her fix her life. She had loved him.

“I know enough.” Diego said, a smirk quirking at his lips. “I know who you are Vanya. You were desperate. You found the first person to ask you out and attached yourself to him.”

“What did you do to him Diego. What did you do to Leonard.”

“I’ll have you know I kicked his teeth in, and when he still didn’t stop laughing I gutted the maniac.” Diego yelled, slamming a knife into the coffee table. “And I might lose my job, but you know what? I did that for you.”

“I didn’t ask you to gut my ex-husband Diego! That’s not what I wanted you to do!” The things on the shelves were shaking violently, some glassware bursting. She almost couldn’t hear it. Luther noticed, his eyes flicking nervously from the two of them to the rest of the room. “I’m just going to leave. I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“You are not leaving on that leg.” Luther’s deep voice sounded, finally standing. “Nor the wounds in your side, nor without reconciling with Diego. I am not letting the family split apart again, and I was a fool to let it happen the first time.” He glanced at the two of them who were staring daggers at each other. “I want you to sit your asses down, both of you. Do you hear me?”

Diego sat down stiffly. She nodded and slumped down on the couch, breathing in sharply when her wound twisted weird. She didn’t need to talk anymore, and they all seemed to realize that. She sat in silence while they talked, obviously not the conversation they had been having earlier. Was he really half dead in a hospital somewhere? Did he blame Vanya for what happened? She needed to let him know that it wasn’t her fault. That she didn’t want to see him hurt. Vanya clenched her fist and looked at the floor, wondering if it was really her fault. If she had never confronted him, never complained, then he’d still be with her and they would be happy together. There were so many things that she could have done differently that might have resulted in him staying. 

It’s their fault. They should have never intruded in your life. A little voice spoke. Your siblings couldn’t stand the fact that you were happy, that you might have moved on in your life. They just had to wreck it for you. Now Leonard’s gone and left you, and there’s nothing you can do about it. It seemed as though in the past few months, her entire world had collapsed around her, and now she was just scrambling to pick up the pieces. She was torn between feeling as though she could start over and being bitter about the past, and it was tearing her apart inside. Vanya felt as though there was just too much around her, too much going on, too much to deal with. It was suffocating. 

The sound of her own panicked heartbeat was getting louder and louder, a painful throb in her throat that threatened to close it up. She gritted her teeth and tried to calm down, but it seemed to be no use. The world began to shake around. A large crack of lightning came from the outside, the chotchkies on the bookshelf began to clatter around. 

“What in the hell?” Diego asked, looking around and the trembling room. Vanya tried to breathe but it was choking her, every single noise was like a cymbal crash right beside her ears. Everything just seemed like too much. She breathed in sharply, her fingernails digging angry red crescents into her wrist. 

“What the hell is happening to your eyes?” Luther said with a yelp, staring at her face intently. She hadn’t a clue what he was talking about. She blinked frantically, trying to pull herself together, but nothing seemed to be working. 

“What’s going on?” She asked quietly, staring fearfully around her.

“Miss Vanya, I might be able to explain.” Pogo appeared in the living room. She hadn’t seen him around much anymore, but his voice was extremely welcome now. A competent adult, thank god. “It was one of your fathers most closely guarded secrets, but it’s past time that you knew. Come with me children.” Diego helped her up and she leaned on him as they followed dutifully down hallway after hallway. Into his office.   
As children they had never been allowed in here, and she still felt like she was breaking the rules when she stumbled inside. Pogo was opening one of the drawers in the desk carefully, as if there was a bomb inside. Instead, he pulled out a red notebook, engraved with the RH of their father. Luther grabbed it hungrily, and began flipping through the pages.

“Notes. On all of us. Desperate for attention? I’m not desperate for attention.” He grumbled under his breath. Vanya and Diego looked at him pointedly, and he cleared his throat. “But that’s not why we’re doing this. Okay, Number Seven-” His voice faltered. 

“What does it say?”

“Vanya I-” Luther said, unable to tear his eyes away from the pages. Diego grabbed the book from him and flipped through it.

“Well those pills weren’t for your nerves, thats for sure.”

“Can I see it?.” She asked, as Diego handed it over. Her eyes flicked across the pages, reading and re-reading so that maybe she’d find a little ‘psych!’ written at the end. There was no psych. She felt her heart racing. Uncontrollable. Killed four of the hired help. Medication to sedate her. “Shit.” She laughed lightly, but wasn’t feeling remotely happy. She’d killed people? She blew things up? What in the hell? Things were starting to shake around her again. “You knew about this Pogo?”

“Your father did what he had to do to keep you and your siblings safe.”

“You knew that he was lying to me all those years? You just sat there and watched as I suffered through my childhood?” Her voice was quiet, but she was angry, so so unbelievably angry. She looked at her brothers and then Pogo, and noticed their nervous expressions and ready stances. The room was in complete disarray. She wanted so badly to rage, and destroy everything, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She sighed and everything dropped in the room. “I need a drink.” 

“Vanya let me help you.” Diego said, rushing to help her walk down the hallway. 

“Stop.” She leaned against a wall so that he couldn’t wrap an arm around her. “Thank you though. I think I just need to be alone for a little bit, just so I can calm down. I don’t want to hurt anybody.” Luther’s brow’s furrowed. “I’ll clean up Dad’s office in a little bit. I promise.” She added, looking at the wrecked room. She stumbled down the overgrown staircase and went straight to the medicine cabinet, praying that there was another bottle of her medication somewhere in there. Vanya couldn’t risk hurting the people that she loved, she couldn’t control whatever powers she had yet, and that would only lead to destruction. She needed to feel numb again, for the sake of her family. 

There it was, front and center next to the painkillers. It seemed as though mom had laid it out if she needed it. The painkillers sounded nice too, her side was beginning to bother her. She took two of each, and stumbled over to the bar, waiting for the medication to kick in. One glass of whiskey was down before she’d even gotten a chance to sit down, and the next was gone just as fast. She sat on the couch as her mind slowed down, the room finally quieting. She felt like herself again, calm and empty. She knew that deep down this wasn’t really her, it was the sedatives, but she’d been on them so long it had become who she was. She curled up on her non-injured side and stared ahead, fearing that if she closed her eyes, the whole world would slip out from under her feet. Time passed, she could feel it, but something was pulling her into the couch, keeping her from getting up. 

“What are we going to tell the media? They saw the explosion, they saw us there.” Diego was saying, Vanya didn’t think they knew she was there. “We’ve gotta let people know there was a seventh child. It’s past time Luther.”

“I don’t want to put her in any more danger. If she doesn’t know how to control this power, I can’t just send the kid off into the world and risk something happening.”

“She’ll be fine Luther.”

“Diego you know I just worry about her.” She heard the nervous tone in his voice, one she usually didn’t hear in her confident brother. “I swear she’s 10 pounds lighter than she was last time we saw her. She can’t take care of herself.”

“We need to let people know. They’re going to start asking questions Luther. People saw us leaving with her after the trial. I just saw an article today about the explosion and her bastard of an ex-husband. It’s going to blow up in our faces if we keep this hidden.”

“Diego.”

“Don’t talk down to me Spaceboy.” Diego spat bitterly. “You don’t know any better than the rest of us, so stop acting like you do.”

“I’m not. I just don’t want her to be thrown out into the deep end so soon. She doesn’t like attention.”

“What do you know about her, huh?” It seemed as if once Diego got mad, he just couldn’t turn it off. Vanya could tell without even looking at him that he was fixing his posture to seem taller than he really was, unable to stand the fact that Luther had a good five inches on him. “I’m closer to Seven. You two were on opposite ends of the number line as kids, you never even looked at her.”

“I’m not proud of it. But I know damn well I wasn’t the only one.” Luther growled. “Lets just figure this out later. We need to call the others. That should have been done first.” She heard their footsteps grow closer, but still she didn’t look up. She didn’t even really see them until Luther crouched down in front of her. “Have you been there the whole time?” She didn’t nod, but he seemed to understand. 

“Vanya, did you mix all this shit together?” The bottle of whiskey and her pills were held in front of her face. She closed her eyes. 

“Alright, come on. You need to go throw up. Right now.”

“No.” She mumbled half heartedly, but it wasn’t like she had any say in the matter, Luther was carrying her up the stairs against her will. 

“Jesus christ you’re an idiot. This shit could have killed you!” Diego barked sternly. She was slung over Luther’s shoulder like a sack of flour but she managed to raise her hand high enough to flip Diego off before slumping down on Luther’s shoulder again. As per usual, Diego got offended and started railing off death threats until Luther kicked him in the shin. 

He set her down on the bathroom floor and held her hair back. “Get a cup of warm water, will you Diego?”

“I’m not your servant.” He muttered, but listened. 

“Van, can you stick your finger down your throat? Make yourself gag?” She didn’t move, she couldn’t move. It felt like her limbs were made of lead. “I’m not doing it for you.” She closed her eyes and let her head loll to the side. “Nope, Vanya you need to stay awake until all this is out of your system.”

“I need the pills.” She slurred, hoping to garner pity from her biggest brother. “I don’t wanna hurt you.” Luther nodded and grabbed her hand that was waving absently in the air.

“And you are welcome to take them, because that’s your choice, but you can’t mix painkillers with alcohol, okay? You need to get it out of your system so you don’t hurt yourself.” He said gently. She felt patronized, but was too out of it to be offended. Not that she’d do anything even if she was in the right state of mind. “Do you want me to pull your hair back?” She muttered something in reply and sloppily put it all in a bun. 

“Here.” Diego said, returning with the warm glass of water. “Gargle with it.” She reluctantly followed his instructions and almost instantly she began to purge all the shit that was in her system. “Oh gross.” Diego said, but he was still rubbing her back reassuringly. Luther was holding her hair back again, because somehow she’d managed to tie it back wrong and it was falling apart. 

“Okay, come on downstairs. I’m not letting you out of my sight Vanya.” Luther said with a light smile and he got her on her shaky two feet. Diego then decided it was his turn to have her slung over his shoulder. He paraded her down into the living room, where Luther had parted ways with them to get her a water and an aspirin. She thanked him and slumped against Diego, feeling shitty again. 

Since dad had died, Luther had bought a TV for the living room, and was now playing one of Allison’s rom-coms on the screen. She’d seen two of her sisters movies and this wasn’t one of them, but Vanya didn’t watch this one either. The second she was in a comfortable position again, she was asleep, wedged in between One and Two.


	11. :|

She woke up around sunset. Luther was asleep next to her, his arm wrapped around her, his head leaned back on the couch. Diego was in the kitchen with mom, presumably working on dinner. All the numbness of the medication had worn off, which meant it was time for a refill. She grabbed blindly at the coffee table where the familiar orange bottle had been lying, but it wasn’t there anymore. Careful as not to wake him, she slid out from Luther’s arm and limped into the kitchen, scrounging through the medicine cabinet while Diego judged from afar. 

“Looking for this?” He waved it in front of her.

“Yes. Can I have it back?”

“What do you say.” He taunted, causing a lighthearted ‘children’ from their mother.

“Can I pretty please have the medication that stops me from destroying everything in sight?”

“That’s all you had to say.” He grinned dorkily, and handed her one of her pills before giving the container to mom. “She’s going to regulate it for you again since you clearly can’t handle it yourself.”

“You know, you’re so pleasant to be around.”

“Man I’m going to miss the snarkiness when the tranquilizer kicks back in. I so rarely get to see it.” He sounded sarcastic, but she knew there was some truth it it. Still, she swallowed the pill and shrugged. Dinner looked like chicken pot pie. “Are you ready for Christmas? Apparently, the whole family’s coming in.”

“Even Five?”

“Apparently.”

“Do they know about the whole thing-?” She trailed off, not really want to talk about it.

“Allison and Five know, I couldn’t get ahold of Klaus, but I assume he’ll be here for Christmas like he usually does. Allison feels awful about rumoring you last time, she’s called me like 9 times in the last week alone.” Vanya looked down and picked at a scab on her knee. “She says she’s not going to rumor anybody ever again, but I know that’s a lie.”

“If I had a power like that, I think I’d use it. I can’t really blame her.” She muttered, wiping at her now bleeding knee with her sleeve.

“Is Luther still asleep?” Diego asked, changing the subject rapidly. She nodded and looked over at his hulking silhouette on the couch. 

“Dinner is ready children.” Their mother said pleasantly. “Diego, will you please take Mr. Pogo his dinner? And Vanya, honey, will you wake your brother?” They both nodded and went to carry out their respective tasks. She shook Luther’s shoulder and he nearly flung her across the room in his shock. 

“Shit, sorry Vanny. I didn’t know that was you.”

“It’s okay. Mom says dinner is ready.” She left him to stretch and re-orient himself and went to go set the table. Pogo always chose to eat in his room, so it was just her and mom and her brothers in the kitchen. 

“Vanya, I don’t know if you heard Two and I talking earlier about it, but the media got hold of the explosion with Leonard. I need to know how you want me to handle it.”

“I don’t know.” She said quietly. She really didn’t know how she felt about people knowing she existed. Part of her thought that Luther was right that she might find herself in a tricky situation, but the other part of her though that it might smooth things out if she just went ahead and explained it all to the best of her abilities. 

“You don’t know? You can’t not know. Would you rather have people know about you or keep it bottled up and have it blow up in your face later.”

“I don’t know Diego.” She said again. “I can’t control myself yet, and if something goes wrong, you’re going to take a lot of shit about it.”

“If you keep on the medication, it won’t be an issue though.” Diego retorted. Luther groaned. 

“And how the hell is she supposed to protect herself if she’s on the medication? Did you not think about that? You’re just going to let everybody know that we have a sister who doesn’t use her powers, and put her at risk.” Luther countered with Diego. 

“We’ll watch out for her.”

“We aren’t going to be there all the time and you know it.” There was a staring match between the two of them before Diego caved. 

“Fine.” He sighed and turned to her. “I guess you’ll need to have your powers if we tell people you exist. Just in case.”

“Or, you can just keep things the way they were, and let us deal with the explosion.” Luther said, gripping her hand tightly. She thought for a minute, but she still didn’t know how she felt about her powers. She really didn’t want to hurt people, but she’d feel bad if she made her family deal with her actions and didn’t do anything about it. 

“I don’t know what I want.” Diego glared at her. “Oh come on Diego, my whole life has been a lie, excuse me for not knowing what to do.” He dropped his gaze and the whole table went silent for a few minutes. “Thank you for earlier.”

“Of course.” Luther said, his typical hero’s voice back on. He knew who he was, and she really admired him for that. Even after dad died, he stayed the leader. 

“I’m going back to work tomorrow so you better not try any of that shit when I’m gone.” She nodded slightly and stared down at her plate of food that she’d hardly made a dent in.

“Eat your dinner Vanya.” Luther said in his deep voice. She took another bite and stared off to the side, out the window. It hurt to put anything in her stomach still, she was really sore. It was snowing again, and this time, it wasn’t her fault. Six days until Christmas Eve. 

She hadn’t seen Five in years, and she was surprised he was even coming for the holidays. He hadn’t come to the funeral. They had been really close as kids, but as they entered their teenage years, he turned into a pretentious asshole. He had always thought he was better than the rest of them, but it was only after he learned how to time travel that he really went over the edge. He only trained individually, only talked to her when he wanted to sneer at her for being wrong about something. She scratched her leg absently. She still needed to go clean up dad’s office. She should have done that earlier. 

“Can I be excused?” She asked, looking at Mom,

“You hardly touched your dinner!” Mom said with a tut. “Alright, but no dessert.” That wouldn’t be an issue. She made to go clean up her plate, but Luther dragged her back down.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“To clean up Dad’s office.”

“I’ll help.”

“You don’t have to, It’s my mess to clean.”

“Luther’s not letting you go alone because theres whiskey in Dad’s office.” Diego said, causing Luther to glare at him and smack him in the back of the head. 

“Oh.” She said quietly, and then resumed doing what she was doing. She covered her plate and put it in the fridge. She might eat it later. She would probably have gotten mad if she wasn’t on the medication, but since she was, she didn’t say anything. Vanya walked slowly up the stairs, trying not to disturb her side or put too much pressure on her leg, while Luther followed at her side, ready to catch her if she fell, which she was threatening to do. 

She started by picking up any and all of the broken glass off the floor, then, moved to putting everything that wasn’t broken back on shelves while Luther put the big stuff back where it went. He had gotten more confident with his powers over the years, which meant he could lift much bigger things. She watched him heft the desk in one hand and the bookshelf in the other with ease. With the two of them working together, they managed to get everything put back within a few minutes. Dad was dead, and who else was going to miss the set of crystal paperweights that had once been on the bookshelf. 

“I’m leaving!” Diego called from downstairs. I better go say goodbye. She thought, stumbling downstairs to do so. He was waiting by the door with his suitcase full of knives in one hand and the other extended for a hug. “Don’t do anything stupid, you hear me?”

“Yes.” She mumbled into his shirt before pulling away. It was rare that Diego gave hugs, but everyone knew that deep down he was just a big softie. “I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have pushed it.” She did feel bad. It was so unlike her to be that upset about anything.

“Yeah, I’m sorry too.” He muttered, barely audible. “You watch out for her, okay?” Diego commanded, glaring at Luther.

“I always do.” He replied, and they shook hands briefly before Diego turned and walked out to his car. Luther turned to her, “So what do you want to do?”

“I need to call my office and explain things.”

“Already taken care of.”

“I should go back to work soon.” She said quietly, wondering when it would be appropriate for her to return to her regularly scheduled adult life.

“You need to heal. Plus the holidays are coming up again, so you’d get those days off anyways.” Luther retorted, steering her into the living room. “You might as well stay here until christmas is over.”

She wished that she could complain that she could take care of herself, but after today, that was hard to say. She’d fucked up, and now it was difficult to tell if her siblings would ever see her as an adult. She started biting at her nails to combat the sinking feeling in her stomach. She felt as if this was her life now, forever to be under the watchful eyes of her twin siblings. 

She sat curled up on the couch, knees to her chest, refusinging to let the pain of the day hit her. The medication was stopping an overflow of emotion, but she was still thinking about Leonard, and how much he hated her. How hard it would be to make amends with him. How he was dying. Luther had brought out their dad’s old gramophone and was now flipping through albums asking for input. He settled on some old 60s and began to read quietly, letting her sit in silence. She slid until she was upside down on the couch, staring up at the ornate ceiling and balconies above. 

“You’re going to pass out if you keep laying like that.” Luther chided, but he didn’t stop her. He waited a little bit, then set his book down to talk to her. “You took today better than expected Vanya. I don’t think that I could have just let it go like you did.”

“I have a lot of other things to think about. I’ll freak out later.”

“Oh. That’s right.” She sat up and laid down on the couch, twisting her engagement ring on her finger. 

“I really do still love him.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” She looked up at her brother. He looked disappointed, but he didn’t berate her. Just turned back to his book. She hugged a pillow to her chest and closed her eyes, letting the music surround her. 

She woke up to Luther carrying her up the stairs, her eyes squinting to make out his face in the dark. He settled her down in her bed, tucking the covers around her. He muttered something about how bony she was and stepped as lightly as he could out the door. She shifted a pillow so that it was parallel to her body and hugged it close, falling back asleep in minutes.


	12. It's Christmas Bitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not very christmas-y, like you wouldn't know unless I explicitly told you that it was christmas, but that's okay.
> 
> This is a long chapter. I didn't know where to stop.
> 
> Also it's kind of sad.

People began to arrive on the 22nd. Without telling Vanya, the entire rest of the family had decided that they were going to train her up. Training, for the rest of the family meant cutting her off the meds cold turkey, which resulted in a lot of feverish shaking on her part, while they used their fully developed adult powers to throw things at her. Christmas Eve was not spent relaxing and hanging around with her family, it was instead spent in the training room she’d been forbidden to go in as a kid dodging Diego’s knives. 

“You’re not paying attention! Again.” 

“How can I pay attention when Luther is about to throw a fridge at me?” 

“Don’t worry about what I’m doing, worry about what he’s doing.” Luther said nonchalantly while he hefted the thing over his head. Vanya turned back to Diego who was pitching an armada of blades her way, she deflected them, and the second she did, Luther threw the fridge. 

Her body was all about survival. 

This had been a common theme throughout the training. She would get worked up and something inside of her would take over, eliminating the threat. The fridge exploded, chunks of metal and aluminum rained from the ceiling, while Luther and Diego took cover. It was taking longer and longer to get out of autopilot. The survivalist in her was hell bent on destroying everything around her, and frankly, it was a little nauseating. She laid on the floor for a moment, re-gaining her bearings and waiting for the screaming in the back of her mind to die down. 

“I’ve got a chunk of refrigerator stuck in my arm, so I’m going to tap out. Five, you’re up.” Luther said, clutching his bleeding bicep. “Vanya, you okay?”

“Yes.” She squeaked from the floor. Luther used his good arm to help her up on her feet, to which she promptly fell over again. 

“Come on, again.” Five said, waiting impatiently for her to get back on her feet. She stood shakily, and it began, Five teleporting around, trying to trip her up. She tried to concentrate on one sound so that she could manipulate the airwaves, but it was becoming harder and harder to concentrate. Five was yelling, Diego was yelling, the voice in the back of her brain was yelling, Vanya was tired. She slipped up, let the other part of her take over. It was her fault that Five had been thrown against a wall. It was her fault that Diego had barely got out with his life. All of the knives that he had been throwing at her were shot back at him, and he had had to use everything in his power to stop them from killing him. 

The machine shut down. Vanya fell to the floor, energy radiating around her, a sort of defense mechanism against the rest of the world. Slowly, as her energy depleted, her power began to collapse, and Allison was rushing towards her to comfort her. “I need the medication. It’s getting stronger.” Her voice was hoarse. 

“You just need to be trained some more-.”

“You don’t understand. It’s going to kill you all.” Allison’s eyes widened, just for a moment, then she pretended not to have heard Vanya. 

“You just need to be trained some more. Give it time.” She pulled Vanya to her feet and walked her up the stairs to the med-bay where the three brothers that had been training her were all sitting in separate beds. Five was unconscious, but it was only a mild concussion. Luther was bandaging his arm and Diego was wrapping his leg where he’d missed a blade and had been stabbed. 

“Are you ready to go again?” Luther asked, getting back on his feet like he’d never been down in the first place. She glanced at him and sighed. He just never stopped, did he. 

“Ten minute break then we’re getting back down there.” 

“I nearly killed Five.”

“Five’s fine. Just a mild concussion.” Luther assured her, but she couldn’t help glancing at his unconscious form and wincing. 

“He had it coming, the little asshole.” Diego said with a laugh. 

“It’s getting harder to control Diego, one of you are going to get seriously hurt.”

“You just need to train harder.” Luther replied in typical Luther fashion. That seemed to be his answer to everything, just work harder. Now that he had a purpose again, he was going at it with an intense fervor, steamrolling and gaslighting any complaints that she had. 

Vanya was about to drop dead. Her leg and side had yet to fully heal, but it seemed as though everyone had forgotten about that when they had decided that she was going to be trained up, not to mention she’d been working non-stop for the past few days, 8 hours of training with only breaks when she either passed out or somebody got hurt. Mom would make dinner, but after it all and seeing the extent of what she could do, Vanya didn’t have much of an appetite. The voice was hissing in the back of her brain constantly, begging her to let go and destroy, so she hardly got any sleep. In short, she looked and felt like shit. Still, Luther grinned and patted her on the shoulder, ready to start training again in a few minutes. 

She looked up at Allison in an attempt to garner pity, but she just shrugged and followed Luther out the door. Vanya sluggishly made her way down into the living room, where Mom was working on her cross stitch, and she collapsed face-first on the couch. 

“Are you feeling alright sweetheart?” Mom said pleasantly. 

“Yes, thank you Mom.” She mumbled into the couch cushions.

“Your dinner from last night is still in the fridge if you’d like to eat it.”

“I’m okay for right now. Maybe a little later.”

“It’s important to eat three solid meals every day so that you grow up big and strong!” Her mother said with a chipper voice. 

“I’m twenty three mom, I think I’m done growing.”

“Oh.” The happiness disappeared for a brief moment. “I forgot! You kids grow up so fast!” She laughed and returned to her cross-stitch, humming away serenely. Vanya lay there, ignoring Luther who was yelling for her to come back down to the training room. He eventually came upstairs and told her that she could sleep later and that this was more important. Reluctantly, she followed him back down the stairs where the room had been completely set up again. He turned to her with a wild smile on his face and instantly started working again. 

She used what was left of her strength to try and obliterate the things he was throwing at her, but it was faltering quickly. “You’re doing great, again.” He said, chucking one of his dumbbells at her, then another. He was running out of things to throw. She shook her head and tried to keep her eyes on the objects that were coming from every direction. 

“Hey Van, catch-.” 

“What?” She broke focus and turned at the wrong moment. Diego’s knife embedded itself in her thigh and the weight she was holding crashed down onto her. There was a dull crack in her shoulder, and she knew that it had to be broken. 

“Why would you do that Diego?” Luther said, dropping the 200 pound dumbbell he was holding. “Are you okay Vanya?”

“I’m going to lay down.” She muttered wincing through the pain in her shoulder. “Ask me later.” 

“I thought she’d catch it!” Diego exclaimed. “She did it to me earlier.” He grumbled, ignoring the glare that Luther was sending his way. Vanya was just glad to have an excuse to leave. Their dad had never worked any of her siblings that hard, she knew that to be a fact. Her mother fitted her with a sling and some painkillers and sent her off to bed, noting that she would need to eat something when she woke up.

Yay Christmas.

======  
The Hargreeves hardly celebrated the holidays when they were children. If their father was feeling particularly benevolent that day, they might get the day off from school or training, but that was rare. On those days her siblings would run around like maniacs, then open fan-mail in the living room and she would help mom make a nice dinner, and they would sit in silence and eat it. It was always a semi-pleasant day. 

The first gift she ever received was from Five when they were 10, he had gotten a teddy-bear from a fan and graciously gave it to her. She still had it, somewhere in this house but it’d been years since she’d seen it. It was entire possible that Klaus had thrown it away when he tore down their shared wall, but Mom had liked to save all of their childhood toys and blankets and things, so she might have found it and kept it away somewhere. 

Vanya was sure this year would be no different. She woke in her new room, the house was silent, which meant it was probably still early. Klaus and Allison were hardly up before noon. Luther was up before the sun every single day, Diego not long after, and Five never slept. Vanya slid out of bed and fell heavily on her damaged leg, to which she winced but did not cry out. Her shoulder was bound tightly to her chest, but she still feared that Luther would find a way to have her back in the training room so that he could have something to do. She couldn’t wait to get back to being on her own. 

The living room was empty too. She checked briefly Diego’s room, then Klaus’s, Luther and Allison’s. All empty. Mom was humming lightly in the kitchen, working delicately over the hot stove.

“Mom?”

“Yes, Dear?”

“Where is everybody?”

“The press conference silly!” Mom replied lightly, cracking two eggs into a pan. Vanya felt her heart drop. They had discussed the press conference but she was under the impression that they would tell her before they went. She was also under the impression that they would take her with them when they went. Maybe it was to spare her from the paparazzi, which she sort of understood, but she still would have liked to be involved in the family meeting that decided this for her. “Now would you like your eggs scrambled or sunny side up?” Mom asked, moving the conversation right along. She blinked lightly, and mumbled scrambled to which mom smiled her pearly white smile and got to work. She was given a happy little plate of eggs and toast with tomato and poured Vanya a cup of coffee. 

Vanya smiled and thanked her mother, hiding that she was definitely very upset that her family still wasn’t including her in family meetings. She was off the meds and in pain because they wanted her to be. She had yet to visit Leonard in the hospital because they had decided that she shouldn’t go. Vanya decided that she needed to be more assertive. 

“Mom? Is there any of my medication left?”

“Why yes, would you like me to get it for you?”

“No that’s okay, I can get it.”

“Alright.” Mom smiled again and walked out of the room, her heels clacking against the hardwood flooring. Vanya picked at her food, thinking that she would need to visit Leonard soon. She’d called around to different hospitals, and apparently he was being held at the same one she had been in when he had attacked her the first time. Ironic. He was comatose, expected to awake within the week. Diego had gotten in serious trouble with his department, yet thankfully, was only written off with a warning and was put on probation. But he was lucky. 

Vanya ate her eggs and sat in the silence of the house. It felt empty. She knew it wasn’t, of course, with Pogo probably downstairs and Mom in the living room, but it was so silent that if you didn’t know the house you would say it was abandoned. Vanya walked carefully up the stairs to the infirmary and opened the bottle of pills, taking two and slipping it into her pocket as per usual. The television was already playing the press conference. Her nails dug deep crescents into her hand as Alison sweetly explained who she thought that Vanya was. Quiet, shy. She was always the wallflower of the family. She hadn’t wanted to go today. Allison looked at Luther and patted his hand like it was a sort of inside joke, their sister, the ordinary one. 

There was a loud crash from the other side of the room - Klaus, whom she had noticed was not on the panel but had not thought much of it, was stumbling in with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a sandwich in the other. It was 10:00am. 

“Good morning.”

“What are we watching.” He asked, laying horizontally on the rest of the couch, squishing her to one side. “Oo, press conference, very interesting.” She nodded, tight lipped and tense. “You know, I wanted to tell you. I really did.” He took a drink of whiskey. “But nobody ever listens to me.” 

“I know. Thank you anyways.” Klaus handed her the bottle and she took a drink, forgetting the time and the medication in her system. Her attention turned to the screen again. Luther was now explaining the details of the explosion. It’s very new to her. She wasn’t raised with her powers like they were. The damage will get taken care of. They are very very sorry. She is being trained, it won’t happen again. 

Vanya took another swig of whiskey and popped two more pills. Klaus wouldn’t judge. He never did. She handed him back the bottle and waited for the roar in her ears to die down. It usually did after a while. Five was talking on the TV. Unlike Luther and Allison who had tiptoed around her divorce and legal situation, he went into everything in gory detail. Abusive ex-husband nearly killed her. It had been self defense. She was too powerful. Had not taken her medication. There was medication? Yes. There were extremely strong sedatives. Sir Reginald Hargreeves had mislead her into believing that they were for anxiety. 

“I don’t think this is strong enough.” Klaus muttered, handing her the bottle once again. She drank deeply, slumping down into the couch. If there was one thing that Vanya knew for sure, it was that she was 100% a lightweight. She already felt wasted and she was only a few drinks in. 

“It’s Christmas.” She nearly whispered. Klaus gasped dramatically and got to his feet. 

“It’s Christmas!” He exclaimed, oddly excited. “Let’s make cookies! No, wait- lets make a wedding cake- no wait! Wait Vanya we should do nails!” She sat up and began to nod furiously. That was the best idea that she had heard in a long time. “Follow me.” Klaus cried, dragging her to her feet and leading her down hallway after hallway into the library. 

“Okay. Okay. Okay.” She grinned. 

“Yes! Okay.” Klaus clapped his hands together and scrambled around trying to find blankets. She grabbed a few pillows, managing what she could with the broken shoulder. Klaus was like a hurricane, he was moving so fast and excitedly that it made her dizzy. She slumped down onto the mess of blankets Klaus had thrown on the floor of the library and waited for him to come back with more whiskey and nail polish. She was tapping the floor in drunken excitement, grinning like a little kid. Vanya couldn’t remember the last time she’d genuinely smiled. Of course, this wasn’t entirely genuine, she was completely shitfaced, but it was nice. Klaus returned, singing spice girls and laughing. She listened to him talk intently, nodding at the wrong moments, and sloppily painting his nails. She’d never been good at it, and was even less good with her out of commission arm. Klaus didn’t seem to notice. 

He was talking loudly, and she was enthralled by the sparkles in her nail polish. 

“Do you remember when we dyed Luther’s hair? It was shit green for like a month!” He laughed, Vanya remember that summer. Luther had had to shave his head, but it was still stained, so it made him look like a tennis ball. She nodded.

“Tennis ball.” Was all she managed to spit out. 

“Or, Vanya remember this one? Vanya do you remember when that one lady told Five that she thought he looked like a very young old man in that interview? He was so mad for so long at so much.” She nodded again. She drank more whiskey. Her heart was beating really really fast. She could hear it too, the bu bum bu bum of the beat. It had been a few hours, she could tell they were no longer the only ones in the house. 

“Klaus.”

“Yeah?”

“I think they’re back.” She laid on her back, turning her head to look at him. She bit her lip. She didn’t want to see anybody else. Vanya wasn’t used to being forward and upset. She’d only really gotten upset twice in her life, with Leonard and with Diego. But she was upset. She was really really mad that they hadn’t even thought to include her in a family meeting that involved her life and her life alone. The alcohol hadn’t been nearly enough to drown out that emotion. She took two more pills. It was too many. She knew that. She knew it. But Vanya couldn’t help herself. It was instinct to take it whenever she felt any emotion at all. 

She heard their names being called. Neither her nor Klaus made any motion to get up, she took another drink of whiskey. Klaus, who was singing Gwen Stefani quietly to himself. He began to sing Hollaback girl even louder. She grinned, still shitfaced and still taking careful swigs from the bottle that was slowly dwindling in supply. “We should ask mom to make those cookies in the shape of reindeer!” He laughed, sharp and high. Vanya couldn’t help herself from smiling, Footsteps were getting closer to the library, and from the sound of it, it was probably Diego. She’d recognize that stomp anywhere. 

“A dozen Griddy’s donuts says it’s Diego.” Klaus said quickly, getting the words out before she could rebut. 

“Fine. If it’s not you have to help me move my house to my apartment.”

“No way, that’s not a fair deal!” He cried. She shrugged. He was going to win anyways,  
and even if he wasn’t right, she’d still go out and buy him Griddy’s. 

“What in the hell happened in here?” There it was, Diego. 

“You have to buy me donuts!” Klaus screeched, standing on his feet and dancing around the room. Vanya slid out on her back, whiskey bottle in hand and gave Diego a wide grin.

“What are you two idiots doing.” Diego asked, more of a statement than a question.

“Nails.” She said simply waggling her fingers in the air and taking another swig of whiskey as she sat up. “Thanks for telling me about the press conference.”

“It was for your own good.” 

“I hate you.” She said blandly. “Klaus come on, I’ll call a cab.”

“Yes!” He shouted, prancing off to the doorway. Vanya smiled at him and followed, Diego left standing around the mess they had made in the library. 

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Griddy’s! I owe Klaus donuts.” She swayed in the doorway and shrugged at her brothers disappointed expression. He didn’t try to stop her, so she raced after Klaus and they walked hand in hand out the house and down the street, laughing about nothing. The pill bottle rattled consistently in her pocket, and Hollaback girl was playing on loop in her head. 

She didn’t really remember the ride over to Griddy’s but she did remember when Klaus ordered twelve danishes and left her to pick up the check. She had promised him a dozen donuts, not their more expensive counterpart, but she didn’t say anything, just picked at her bear claw while he devoured his pastries like he hadn’t eaten in years. He was rambling, and she wasn’t sure if it was because of alcohol or drugs, probably both- she seen him not so subtly put three random pills in his mouth, and he’d seen her do the same. 

It was getting dark, and she was beginning to sober up. A headache was setting in, as was the nausea that she thought she had squashed with more alcohol. Apparently it hadn’t worked. Klaus’s temperament, which had once been positive had turned grating once she realized that it was him being high and slightly aggressive.  
Vanya’s phone rang. She realized it was the mayor and happily accepted, ready to escape a one sided conversation with Klaus about how there was never enough filling in a danish.

“Hello?” She asked, stepping away from the table. 

“Hi Vanya.”

“Hello Sir! How was your Christmas?” She asked happily, ignoring his morose tone. 

“We need to talk about your position on my team.” Her heart dropped. 

“I’m so sorry I haven’t been able to make it into work, with everything going on with Leonard-.”

“Vanya I like you. You’re a good worker, you’re a real pleasant person to have around the office, but I saw the conference today. With the rest of your siblings.” She tried to focus on her breathing. “I can’t put anybody else on the team at risk if something goes wrong.” “I’m on the medication, same as always, I promise sir, you have to give me a chance.” Her voice broke in pain. Was she seriously about to lose her job?

“Vanya, I’ve got five people in the office who’ve emailed me, concerned for their own safety. I can’t have people being scared. I’m so sorry Vanya, especially to do this on Christmas, but people wanted an answer.”

“I can fix this, please just give me a chance, you can regulate the medication, make sure that I’m on it. I promise I’d never hurt anybody.” She stammered, blinking tears out of her eyes.

“I’m sorry to do this to you kiddo.” He paused. “You can come pick up your things on Monday.” The other end of the line went silent. Vanya clutched her phone as tightly as possible, nearly breaking it in her sadness. 

“Klaus, we’re leaving.” She said, angry at the wrong person. 

“But why? I haven’t even had my tenth danish!” He cried, clutching pastry in one hand. 

“We just need to get back.”

“Who was calling you?”

“My boss. I just got fired.” She spat, giving cash to the lady behind the counter. Klaus did a brief aww, and then went right back to his own little world, not able to focus for even a brief moment. Vanya knew that this was how it normally was. This morning had just been a fluke in their relationship. She would have known that if she hadn’t been drinking her problems away. Klaus skipped out ahead of her while she called a cab back to the academy, and the ride back was drowned out by the roaring in her ears. 

She stepped inside, noticeably quieter than she had been when she left. 

“Who pissed in your cornflakes?” Diego asked, making Five turn his attention to her. 

“I got fired.” She snapped, throwing her coat on the couch. “The Mayor saw your press conference, and now everyone in my office along with him think that I’m going to murder them with my uncontrollable explosive powers.” She said, quoting Five earlier. “So thanks so much for that one, I really appreciate it.” Her voice broke and turned away and stormed up the stairs into her room, shutting the door. 

She wanted to cry, to scream to do something, but she just couldn’t. It was bottled up inside of her so tight that there was no way even a single tear was going to slip past her defenses. She slid down on to the opposite wall, head on her knees and just thought about all that had gone wrong up until this moment. She prayed that the world would show mercy on her, and that nothing more was to come. 

There was a light knock on her door, she heard it creak as it opened. “Vanya, dinner’s ready.” Mom’s ever so chipper voice floated into the room. “Tonight is roast chicken, sauteed spinach and baked potatoes! And for desert I made your favorite, apple pie!” Apple pie was not Vanya’s favorite, but she didn’t say anything. “Diego said you were having a bad day, how can I help?” Vanya did not know, she just wanted to leave the house. 

“I’m alright mom. Thank you.” She smiled lightly and followed Mom down the stairs.  
Everyone was already gathered in the dining room, assuming their positions at the table. One, Two and Five on one side, Two and Four on the other. The only difference was that now Grace sat at the head of the table, and Six’s seat was empty. Everyone seemed to be treading lightly around her, averting their gaze, focusing on their meal. She sipped her water, hardly touching her food. She hadn’t much of an appetite. Conversations resumed, light and amicable around her. 

Her phone began to ring. Vanya stared down at it, recognizing the number as her landlords. Panic ran through her chest, she knew what conversation was about to happen. She could feel it. Somehow, things were about to get a hell of a lot worse. Everyone was looking at her again. Slowly, she picked up the phone and excused herself. 

“Hello?” Her voice was shaky and quiet. Vanya was sure if her brain could take anymore bad news. 

“Miss Hargreeves.” Her landlord spoke, the womans voice gravelly and cold.

“Yes?”

“I’m so sorry to have to do this, and on Christmas, no less- but I’ve got people calling left and right that they’re going to move if you’re living in my building.”

“Please don’t do this, Mrs. Elliott, please, you can’t do this to me.”

“I need you to be out of the building by next week.”

“I always pay my rent on time, I never disturb anybody, please you know that I wouldn’t do anything to bother the rest of the tenants! Please Mrs. Elliot, I just got fired today for the same reason, you can’t do this to me.”

“Miss Hargreeves, I really am sorry. But you’re beginning to cause disturbances with the rest of the guests, those loud crashes at night, the constant breaking of lightbulbs and windows- I’m sorry, it’s turned into a poor situation for everyone.”

“I can be back on the medication, I can be normal- please, please don’t do this.” Vanya felt the rock in her throat grow larger and larger as she tried to push back tears. 

“I need you out by the end of the week.” The woman sighed. “I’m sorry. Have a nice night.” The line went dead. Vanya stared across the room. Her family had gone silent. She was certain that they had heard the entire conversation. The absence of scraping and talking told her that much. Her heart was heavy in her chest, her brain fuzzy. Vanya didn’t know what to do. Everything that she’d worked for, everything, had crashed down in front of her eyes. Her marriage, her career, her future. What was she? Who was she, if not the quiet legislative assistant in the suburban neighborhood. Where was she supposed to go now? What was she supposed to do? 

“You’re welcome to stay here.” Luther said, in an attempt to be comforting. She didn’t show any sign that she’d heard him, just stared blankly down at her food. There was a chorus of awkward ‘I’m really sorry’’s and ‘That sucks’. She ignored them, stood back up, her chair scraping loudly against the floor and walked away. She took her coat off the couch and left the house, not really sure where she was going. She thought about going to the bridge, maybe jumping off it, but when she approached it, Vanya just kept walking. It was freezing, nearing the negatives. Wind and snow whipped her face, her fingers threatening to snap off. 

Instead of going to the bridge she found herself at a gas station buying two bottles of the shittiest liquor in sight. It was just to get her drunk. That was it. With no true destination in sight, Vanya was quite sure that she might just keep walking until she died. A horn honked behind her, and she saw Diego in his most prized possession, his car. 

“You’re going to freeze to death. Get in the car.” She obediently stumbled into the passengers seat. He turned up the heat and pulled over to the side of the road. “We should have talked about the press conference before it happened. We should have thought about the consequences, been smarter. I know that now.” She was staring at her shoes. 

“I don’t know what to do.” She sounded quiet and pained, her voice scratchy. “I’ve got a mountain of student debt, my career is shot. Nobody’s going to hire me because-.” Her voice broke again, she was unable to face reality. “Dad was right to put me on the medication.”

“He should have told you. You deserved better than what you got. I think we all know that.” Diego was uncharacteristically calm, he was really trying. “We’re here to help Van, whatever you need. If you need a place to stay, the Academy can still be your home. We can be there to help you control your powers, just like we’ve been doing.” She didn’t answer. She didn’t want to train anymore. “Lets go home. Mom can make you a cup of coffee or something, make you feel better.” He began to drive, setting off back towards the Academy. She doubted a warm drink was going to cure the ever sinking feeling in her stomach.

Diego drove her home in silence. She’d been out for a few hours, dinner had been cleaned up, people scattered. She knew that they felt guilty, that was why they were hiding. None of her siblings had ever been too good at apologizing, and they’d never really had to do it before. Vanya retreated to her room, declining to sit with Mom and drink coffee. Her medication was wearing off, she could feel it. Ever since she’d began focusing on her powers, the little part of her who wanted to lose control was getting louder and louder. 

Anytime Vanya spoke, moved or breathed, there it was, just a little something telling her to let go, cede control so that everything would be better. It was tempting, but Vanya knew the results would be destructive, so she withheld the urge. Her coat was downstairs, the bottle in her pocket. Vanya got up off of her bed and walked quietly down to the living room, and shook five or six pills out of the bottle. 

“Dosage says 2 Van.” Diego muttered, but he didn’t stop her. She flipped him off and dry swallowed them two at a time.

“You can’t take those anymore!” Luther protested. “What about your training?” 

“Fuck you.” 

“You’re going to kill yourself if you keep taking that many at a time.” Five said offhandedly, looking at the paper intently. The image reminded her sharply of Dad. 

“Here’s to hoping.” Vanya bit, crossing her fingers and turning on her heel. Once back in her room, she laid out her options. She still had her old house, and as undesirable as it was to stay there, she could live there. It was an option. The world wasn’t completely over. She could leave in the morning, try and get everything moved by herself and get back on her own again. 

Vanya took a drink of the whiskey she had bought. It helped her think. There were many things that she wanted to do, go visit Leonard, be independent again, find another job, and two of those things she could do when she was living in this house. She needed to get out of here, needed desperately to leave again. Vanya gathered all of her things, making sure to be as quiet as possible, and waited for everyone to go to bed. She slipped out of the house, stepping into the cold night with a breath of fresh air. 

The Academy was silent behind her, seemingly abandoned.


	13. Descent into Madness

Vanya had fallen asleep on her old couch, too afraid to sleep upstairs in their bedroom. The house was empty. The police had scrubbed it down and removed any perishable items from the house, which was a very good thing because otherwise it would smell absolutely disgusting. It was completely shut down. Today on her list of this to do would be to move out of her apartment. Box things up and get everything somehow into this house. Leonard still had her car. It was as if one day he just sort of claimed it as his and she hadn’t fought him hard enough on it. She’d need to rent a storage unit or something, because she already had all the furniture she needed here. Maybe she should sell it all.  
Whatever she did next didn’t matter. Vanya thought, taking a long drink from one of the bottles she’d bought yesterday and sighed, slumping back down on the couch. The same couch that she had been sitting in when her brothers had confronted her and started this whole mess. 

She jumped up and backed away, trying not to relive the past. She had been drunk and tired when she came home last night. Feeling this sort of way was entirely new and it seemed that she had just realized exactly how badly she’d been avoiding those memories. In the hall, Vanya could almost imagine the chase as Leonard had gone after her, brandishing a dictionary in one hand and a fire poker in the other. Her heart beat faster and faster, the a surge of emotion taking over her. She envisioned the blood on the floor. Pooling underneath her. 

Vanya’s legs shook. She backed away into the kitchen, trying not to look at the burner or the hole in the wall. She grabbed for her pill bottle on the kitchen counter and shook out a handful, trying her best not to choke as she got them down. Her eyes were shut tight as she waited for the medication to kick in. Her breathing was ragged, her shoulder throbbing in pain. Her face was shoved into the couch cushions, her eyes prickling with tears. One solitary drop of salt water slid down her cheek, landing on her couch. That was all she could manage. 

The phone rang. Let it ring. She thought, remembering the last time she had answered that phone. She laid in silence feeling unimportant and small, not knowing what she was supposed to be doing now that she had lost her job and her apartment. She didn’t want to be around her family. She hated them. Hated who they were trying to turn her into. Hated herself for falling back into her old life. She didn’t want to be reliant on them, she didn’t want to put them in that position. She wanted desperately to resume her far off and independent position she worked so incredibly hard to cultivate. Perhaps she should skip town. Move across country, change her name, start a-new. It would be difficult seeing as now everybody knew what she looked like. They had used her wedding pictures, just cropped Leonard out. She had been upset when she had seen it. A reminder that she couldn’t be happy like that again, and that they did not care. 

But Vanya decided that she needed to try. She would sell her house. Take only the essentials. Forget everything she knew. With a new goal in mind, she sat up, thinking about her suitcase in her apartment. She could take pictures of her things, put them online. People would come get them. It wasn’t like she owned that much stuff. Her arm still pinned to her chest from where she broke her shoulder, she pulled out her phone, snapping quick pictures of everything in sight. Some of things she could donate, others it would be better to sell. Some of it was Leonard's. The furniture she could tack on to the price of the house. 

But first, she needed closure.

Leonard. She had been calling his doctors to check up on him, to see if he needed her or not, but there hadn’t been any change. She still felt as if she needed to visit, to see for herself that he wasn’t dead. To see for herself the damage that had been done to him. Then she could leave.  
Vanya ran out the door, heading off to her apartment to try and gather her things the best she could with one arm. If she hadn’t been so preoccupied with her destination, she would have noticed the Diego’s car pulling into her driveway as she was walking swiftly in the opposite direction. Perhaps it was the alcohol, or the medication, or simply the buzz from finally knowing what she was about to do, but she wasn’t focused on anything else in the world.  
Everything would be okay. 

She couldn’t feel the stares of people in her apartment building. She didn’t see Mrs. Kowalski carefully peek out from behind her door, Mr. Puddles in her arms. She didn’t notice the whispers that enveloped the hallways in low hisses.  
She did, however, notice that her apartment was open. The lock on door had been picked, and her things stolen. On her wall in glaring red spray paint was the word ‘freak’, angry dribbles sliding down it’s pristine paint and gathering on the floor like blood. She merely turned her head, attempting to salvage what was left. There hadn’t been much to take, she did not own a television, nor any nice jewelry, and she had had her cell phone with her. Her furniture had been cheap filler products to make it seem like she called this place home. It had all been taken, from her couch to her bed. Her clothes were gone, her books. Her laptop was probably the most important thing, but she didn't have work anymore so what was the point of it? Attempting to make light of the situation, she simply thought that this would mean less things to carry with her. It would be okay.  
Everything would be okay. 

She dropped her keys on the floor and walked out of the apartment, not bothering to close the door, head held high. Her next stop was the hospital. She was going to see her husband, no matter how much pain it caused her. She needed to make sure she wasn’t abandoning him.  
The taxi ride was long and quiet. She had ducked her head so the driver would not see her face, but he could probably smell the alcohol on her breath and her clothes. He had taken her to the hospital quickly and seemed eager to get her out of the car so the stench would not hang in the air. She had stumbled out, sobering quickly at the sight of the pale building. Timidly, she wandered up to the front desk, asking to see a certain Leonard Peabody. Or a certain Harold Jenkins. She wasn’t 100% sure what name he was under. The woman had smiled lightly and told her to go to room 227, on the second floor. Vanya had shuffled off, her heart beating painfully against her chest. 

Leonard was laying in his hospital bed, the monitor beeping slowly, his eyes closed, as if he was resting. He looked, weak. And small. Two words that she never would have used to describe her ex-husband. Is this who she was running from? Was he the same man who had nearly killed her on multiple occasions? She laughed lightly to herself and sat down next to the bed. 

Was this really what she was so scared of? 

“Hey Lenny.” She whispered, taking his hand in her own. “It’s been a while.”

Leonard didn’t say anything, obviously. 

“I wish that we could still be together. I wish that things could go back to the way they were.” She swallowed and tried to find the words. “But they can’t. And I can’t keep dwelling on the past. I know that now. It doesn’t do anybody any good.” His eyes were closed, a serene smile on his lips. Vanya was glad he was unconscious. If he were awake, she was sure this conversation would not be so peaceful. “I’m leaving Leonard. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t be here anymore. It’s better for everyone if we both just move on. If I just move on.” Her voice caught in the back of her throat and she let out a watery laugh. “I wish I knew if you had anybody else here, anybody else who can come and be there for you. I don’t know if you do.”

Leonards machine beeped in its monotonous pattern. 

“I think both our lives got ruined that night.” She said. Leonard had lost his job, his friends, his dignity. She’d lost her job, her house, her husband. They were quite the pair. She looked down at him, his face was bruised and thin, his body seemingly swallowed under the sea of blankets on his bed. There was no sign that anybody else had come to visit him. No fruit baskets, or teddy bears. No get-well soon cards on his bedside table. Vanya stood and walked to the nurse outside of his door.

“Has anybody else come to see him?”

“Let me check.” She said, walking over rot his door and flipping through a manila folder. “No… I think you’re the first!” The woman looked closer at the papers. “No family either. How do you know him?”

“Oh, he’s my husband, ex-husband.” She corrected herself. “Theres really been nobody else?” The nurse shook her head. Vanya felt guilt beginning to weigh her down. It wasn’t right that she felt this way. It wasn’t right that she wanted to stay for him. None of it was normal. None of it was natural. But still, she turned and walked back into that room, staring down at the man she had once loved with all of her heart, and she stayed. 

Vanya hated herself. 

It had been nearly a month since she had decided to stay for a man who did not love her anymore. She went to the hospital every single day, waiting for him to wake up. On the fourth day of the second week she had been doing this, he did. He was weak and highly medicated for most of it, but at least he was alive. They had talked for as long as he was awake. Confronting what was wrong in their relationship, confronting the reason they had not worked out.  
Leonard was whittling again. She had brought his tools and a few scraps of pine from their house, ones he hadn’t touched since his shop had closed down. He had seemed more like the Leonard she had known when they were together in the hospital. Joking and kind. Vanya needed to constantly remind herself what he had done by looking at the scars on her stomach, but if she didn’t, she would forget. Her wedding ring had yet to be taken off. She never had. Not once.  
Vanya was confused. 

She would go home and stare at her reflection in the mirror. Stare at her thin face, devoid of smiles and crows feet. She hated that she was back in Leonard's web. She knew what he had done to her, and still she found herself loving him again. In anger and sadness, she take a bottle of whiskey and drink from it until she passed out, combining it with three or four pills. The phone would ring constantly. She had missed calls from all of her siblings. Allison would call three or four times a week, Luther, once a day. Diego would call every so often, but usually he would instead swing by her house and see if she was home. She’d had to duck down and be quiet, praying he couldn’t see her hiding from him. Klaus called four of five times a day, sporadically, sometimes asking if she was alright, other times asking to see if she had any cash or anything she didn’t want. She didn’t answer his calls either. 

She’d stopped taking care of herself a long time ago. Sometimes she’d go days without eating or drinking anything other than dark liquor. She’d shower four or five times a day, just to have something to do. And she’d feverishly clean the house every single evening, as if that could get rid of the horrible memories tied to it. What she needed to do was find a job, but nobody would hire her. She’d called around, but nobody would give her a call back. Soon, the only thing that she had to look forward to was the hospital visits with Leonard.

This should be the worst part of your day. She thought angrily, but it wasn’t. It was pleasant, and peaceful. He seemed happy, relaxed. As if all the anger inside of his had escaped when Diego had stabbed him, like steam. She’d stayed the whole day the hospital with him, playing cards and talking, and was feeling fine when she walked home. She had been thinking about a joke he had told her, something about nuns and pedophiles. It had been funny at the time, but she hadn’t slept in about four days so that might have been why. 

“Vanya!” Number Two’s voice carried from where he had been waiting in the driveway. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I’ve been calling.”

“Hmm?” She said vacantly, unlocking the door with him at her heels. She was sure that he could see how clearly she didn’t want to talk to him. 

“I’ve been worried Vanya. You can’t just drop off the face of the earth like that.”

“I’m alright.” She said with a placid smile, finally turning to him. His face sort of shifted.

“You look like shit.”

“I know. I’m tired.” She said. 

“Are you alright?”

“No.” It was that simple. No. She was not okay. She had lost everything that she had known about her life. No. She was not okay. “No. I’m not Diego. You know that.”

“Yeah. I do.” He shifted awkwardly. 

“Just get it over with. Say what you wanted to say.”

“I don’t want to say anything. I just wanted to make sure you were alive.”

“I know you’ve been practicing the whole way over.” She said, a slight smile on her face. Diego was combative, but he always practiced his angry rants before they happened.  
“Just say what you wanted to say.”

“Vanya I-.”

“You’ve been watching me. I know you have. It’s freaking me out. So just spit out whatever you want me to know and leave me alone. Please.” Her tone shifted slightly. She wanted to go inside, have too many glasses of whiskey and continue her nightly ritual of cleaning the entire house from ceiling to floor. Diego didn’t say anything, but from his expression, she knew he wanted to. “I know you think I’m drinking too much and eating too little and I’ve already heard the ‘your body is a temple’ speech you’ve given Klaus. I know you know that I’ve been visiting Leonard every day. I know you’re pissed with me. I know all that so why don’t you just come out and say it?”

“Don’t be pissed at me for caring about you.” Diego spat, getting defensive. Predictable. “You shouldn’t be living here. You should be at the Academy with Mom.”

“And you shouldn’t be wearing leather and carrying knives with you everywhere you go. But we all do things we aren’t supposed to.” She bit back.

“I’ll have you know my girlfriend likes the leather.”

“I did not need to know that.” She nearly whispered.

“What you need is family you idiot.”

“I did perfectly well without all of you.”

“That was before-” He said, cutting himself off, looking at her awkwardly.

“Before what? Before I turned out to be such a freak? Dad thought so. The people at my work thought so. The people who broke into my apartment and wrote it on the wall thought so. Klaus can see dead people and Ben could summon demons from a portal in his stomach, but I’m the freak. Because that makes sense.” 

“People broke into your apartment?”

“Just fuck off Diego.” He shook his head slightly. This clearly wasn’t how he wanted this conversation to go. “Please. This family has fucked up my life enough. Just leave me alone.”

“Don’t blame us for your problems Vanya. You can’t do that. I know you’re mad and upset about how things have turned out for you, but you can’t just throw blame around and see what’ll stick. We’re trying to help you.”

“I don’t want your help!”

“Well you’re going to get it!” He shouted back. “Who warned you about Leonard? Us!. Who brought you home from the hospital? Us! Who took care of you when you were shot down by your husband? US!” 

“I didn’t ask for you to do any of that!” She cried, her voice breaking with emotion. Their argument was beginning to raise eyebrows around passerby, as well as awake that sleeping monster inside of her. She felt it stir, making the world around her seem a little bit heavier. She didn’t want to hurt her brother. “Please Diego, just leave me alone.”

“Don’t do this Vanya, we’re trying to be a family.”

“I don’t want to be a family.” Just go, please, before I hurt you.

“V, come on.”

“Don’t call me that.” She snapped. “Please leave me alone.”

“You look tired, and sick and I know that you’re having a rough go at it, so why don’t you let us help you get back on your feet.” Diego said, resorting to the worried brother act that she knew was a lie. The voice in the back of her brain said so. 

“I’m on my feet just fine.”

“You’re killing yourself Vanya.” She glared at him. “I don’t want to have to go to another siblings funeral. Especially not yours.” He said, putting the final punctuation mark on their argument. She shook her head and went to go walk inside. “Just promise me.” He added, she turned to look at him. “Promise you’ll come to me if you need help.” 

“Take care of yourself Diego.” She muttered, as they both stormed off to their respective destinations hating each other with a fervour. Upon slamming her front door, she wanted to scream, so she did. Her house shook, the cups in her cupboard shattering all in one. 

Then she took four of her pills and drank and glass of whiskey and she felt much better.


	14. Don't Ever Let Me Start Feeling Lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay I like thinking of the White Violin as sort of a parasite that needs to keep it's host body alive so that's a lot of what's happening in this chapter.

The calls stopped. It was clear that Diego had gotten and relayed the message. She was still visiting Leonard, but the guilt in her stomach seemed to have grown even stronger. She had to force herself to throw up every single morning, proceed by a shower and a change into one of the four outfits that she still had. Vanya knew that she wasn’t eating enough. She was freezing and her weight was rapidly decreasing, and it hadn’t been much in the first place. She had tried to fix it, tried to eat breakfast every morning and dinner in the evening, but she would always end up puking afterwards. Not on purpose, but because of the nerves that hung just below her skin.

The medication wasn’t enough. She began to take more pills every day, but still she found herself fighting the villain inside of her. More pills meant that her stash was rapidly decreasing, so she turned to alcohol, trying to drown out the pain. It was always yelling, screaming to be let go. There were days where she couldn’t move form her bed, too cold and too tired to do anything else. She stopped going places as often as she used to. Stopped visiting Leonard once a day, despite that he had just moved into his new apartment and it was much closer than the hospital. She just didn’t care anymore. She would be grateful if she just died in her sleep. 

But she couldn’t. The monster inside her wouldn't let her. It would take control, get her up on her feet and make her take care of herself until she could be strong enough to pull herself away. Vanya would sob as she stared at the ring of white in her pupils. The monster did not care. It was merely there to keep its host alive. That was it’s sole purpose. To make sure Vanya was protected. 

She was walking carefully down the street home from the grocery store, the monster inside of her brain controlling her. Her eyes were a brilliant shade of white, and she was walking confidently, which were the two things that made Klaus not notice her at first. He had done a dramatic double take and had whirled around on his heel, with a loud 

“Vanya?”

She did not hear nor acknowledge him. When she was under the control of her other half, it was hard to notice anything other than her own movements. 

“Vanya? Vanya.” He grabbed her shoulder, and she had whirled around, flinging her brother backwards down the street. She stared at him. He stared at her too, confused, clearly. She glanced at him one more time and then continued on her way. Too weak to fight back from the other. Too weak to tell Klaus that she was very very sorry.   
In some ways, she was grateful for the machine. It made her be productive, get up and clean the house, make her bed, shower, make dinner, eat dinner. Once Vanya felt better, and she always felt better, and could be back in control, she would instantly lose her spine and begin to feel guilty about being so rude and distant from people who might just maybe care about her. The guilt made her need to throw up. So while she was taking a step forward, she was taking two steps backwards. 

Nobody was there to keep her together. Except Leonard. He knocked at her door, and his face had fallen. She hadn’t seen him in a while, just barely able to pull herself out of bed. Being the first person to visit or call since her complete breakdown, she couldn’t help herself from gravitating towards him. 

“Oh Vanya.” He had whispered, pulling her into a hug. She accepted it, needing the human contact. “What have you been doing to yourself?” That voice. That sweet, simpering voice. She opened her eyes, trying to force down the bile in her throat. How could she have let herself get to this point? Back into his arms? Her eyes flit around the room, looking at the area of the original attack. Her breathe became short and panicked. She wanted to puke. Wanted to get away. 

“Leonard. Leonard.” She tapped his shoulder, tried to pull herself out of his hug. “What am I doing? What are we doing?”

“What? What?”

“I-I can’t do this.” She stammered, stepping away from him. Leonard held out his arms in confusion, and she stumbled backwards, trying not think about her surroundings or what he could do. “Leonard I can’t do this. This is wrong.”

“I’m just trying to help you Vanny, you know that. I only came here to check up on you. You had stopped visiting and I got worried.”

“I should never have visited in the first place. I should have left. I should have left.” Her voice got loud with urgency, realizing the consequences of her actions. “I can’t do this with you Leonard. Not after what you did. We can never fix that, nobody can. I shouldn’t have been so foolish.”

“You can’t just leave me. You can’t.”

“Leonard. I-I have to.” Her voice broke, tears threatening her eyes. “This isn’t right. I should have left when I had the chance.”

“You were going to abandoned me? Vanya, I thought you were my friend.” His voice was hurt, he was inching closer. “I’m trying, I really am. I want to be there for you, I want to fix this.”

“Please don’t do this. Don’t make this harder than it has to be. Please.” 

“Vanya I can never forgive myself for what I did, but-.” He paused, eyes wide with fake sadness. She felt bad, but fought it. “Vanya. I love you.” Those words. Those fucking words. 

They’re just that. Words. There is nothing behind them. 

“No you don’t. Leonard don’t say that.”

“How can you pretend that I don’t love you? I do, Vanya! And I took you for granted, but it won’t happen again. Please, give me another chance. Let me prove it to you!” Leonard desperately searched around the room. His eyes fell on her hand. “That ring. Did that ring mean nothing to you when I proposed? I loved you then and I love you now.”

“I should have taken it off a long time ago.” She said, pulling it off her finger. It was like a horcrux. She felt a wave of relief wash over her. “Here. I don’t need it anymore.” Leonard’s expression switched like a light. She knew that change. He took the ring in his hand and held it tightly. Almost too tightly. She could smell the storm coming. There was a crack of thunder from outside, the lights flickered. Her heart pounded in her chest. The monster could sense it too.

“Do you even know how ungrateful you are? Vanya. I am trying to help you. All I ask is for your love. For your forgiveness. Is that so hard? Is that really so much to give me? Forgiveness? I’ve changed, you know I have. You’ve seen it.”

“You haven’t changed. You’re rotten Leonard. Rotten inside. You’re a monster.”

“I’m the monster? Me? You’re the one whose own father had to drug you so you wouldn’t go around killing people, and I’m the monster. You’re ridiculous Vanya. Absolutely ridiculous”

“I-I.”She was unable to form a response. She knew he was right. He was always right. 

“I-I.” He mocked, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout. He was advancing, his hand with the ring curled into a fist. “You’re pathetic Vanya. I am the only one who ever love you, the only one who could have ever loved you. Where are your siblings? Where was your family when you needed them most? They didn’t listen to you. I could have.” Her siblings. She needed to call them. She needed their help. Vanya slowly backed away from Leonard, who was continuing to step towards her. She needed to make a run for the phone. 

“I wish you weren’t a terrible person. I wish you were happy. But I can’t do this anymore.” She broke into a run, feeling the effects of her many day depressive episode. She hardly had any energy. Leonard was right at her heels. She grabbed the phone off it’s anchor and made a run for the bathroom, the closest room with a lock. It was in this moment that she had a very strong gratitude for wireless landlines. She tried to shut the door, but his arm was in the way, and she was very very weak. A powerful burst of energy slammed it shut for her, with him cursing at his jammed fingers that had hadn’t made it out in time. “Thank you.” She whispered, frantically locking the door, praying it would hold. 

She tried to remember the number. She didn’t know the one for the Academy, or Allison’s or Fives, and Klaus didn’t have a phone. Diego was the only one with a phone number she could sort of remember, but was it a six or a three after that second two? Leonard was banging on the door, louder and louder each time, shaking the walls. 

“Leave a message.” Damn it. 

“It’s Vanya.” She winced as Leonard banged on the door. “You were right.” She said through her tears. “I need your help. I don’t want to hurt him but I know that I won’t have a choice soon. And I won’t be able to stop it. The door won’t hold forever. Please. Please help me.” 

“I’LL KILL YOU!” Leonard shouted, his voice resonating in the house. 

“I know I should call the police, but you’re the first person I thought of. Please Diego. I hope you get this soon. I need help. Please.” She sobbed, cursing herself. “I fucked up, but I don’t want to kill him.” She was losing control, her terror too great. She sobbed harder, trying to stay conscious. “Please, please I can’t control it. Please Diego. I’m scared.” It was at that moment that the door burst open, the wood too old to withstand such force. She screamed, feeling herself begin to go unconscious. The phone hit the floor. 

“Goodbye.” Leonard snarled, ending the call.


	15. Frankenstein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diego gets Vanya's message. This is written in his POV.
> 
> Also I can't write Klaus for shit so sorry if this is out of character

Diego was finding that the justice system was incredibly infuriating. Just today, he had just caught a man who was involved in a string of sexual assault cases, and he had been let go on bail. In a fury, he had kicked over a trash can and been sent home early, just another tick on his never ending list of misdemeanors. 

“I’m gonna find him, and I’m gonna teach him a real lesson.” He had muttered under his breath. Diego had taken to vigilante work now, his way of finishing the job. Eudora, his girlfriend was devoted to the law, however, in a way that he could never be. If she found out that he was committing crimes, no matter how good and just the cause may be, she was sure to end things with him. They had already had their biggest fight when he had attempted to kill his sisters ex-husband. 

She had stayed with her mother for a week. 

Things were good again, but fragile. He felt bad, going behind her back, but he felt he didn’t have a choice. Justice was hard. But necessary. In a fury, he took the knowledge that he knew about the rapist they had caught today and worked on tracking him down, eventually finding the name of the man who paid his bail, surely a friend. They would be at that house. He was sure of it. Witness accounts had seen them drive off together. 

He had been right.

After completing his job and making that man pay, he had gone home, sweaty and tired. He checked his phone, noticing the multiple messages left on the machine. The first one, his boss certainly yelling at something that was completely warranted. He was on very thin ice. The usual spiel. The next, a call from a woman he had stopped from being robbed the other day. She had called him a dashing young man. He had thought about it all day. The third, Vanya. Maybe she had finally admitting that he was right.  
After their last argument, he had kept his distance, focusing instead on Klaus. He’d been reluctant about going to rehab, but Diego had promised him unlimited donuts for as long as he stayed sober and 20 bucks, so he had gone. Klaus was doing really really well, so now he just had to figure out a way to bribe Vanya to stop drinking and start taking care of herself. Hoping this call would be her begging for forgiveness, he pressed play and began to get ready or bed. Those plans were instantly foiled as he heard the urgency in her voice. It had been roughly an hour since she called. He might be too late. 

That bloodcurdling scream would haunt his dreams for a very long time. He just hoped she was still alive. He picked up his phone and put his shoes back on. 

“Hey, Luther you busy?”

“No, I mean I just got back from a mission so I’m pretty-.”

“Great. Vanya’s in danger.”

“Again? Okay, fuck. I’ll go put my shoes on.” Diego could invision his brother slowly moving over to the closet. 

“Dumbass, this is serious. Get ready quickly. She might be dead.”

“Alright. Where do you want to meet?”

“I’ll be at the Academy in 10 minutes.”

“It’s twenty minutes away-.” Luther began but Diego had already hung up. Being a good police officer would have to wait. He was about to break many traffic laws tonight.   
Luther was waiting outside the academy looking half asleep. 

“Get your ass in here.” Diego said, sitting forward in his car, ready to drive off. “And listen to this.” He threw his cell at his brother who pressed play and instantly realized that Diego was being extremely concerned for a reason. 

“Shit. Can this thing go any faster?”

“Unless you wanted to get pulled over.” Diego snapped back. “She might be dead Luther.”

“No. She was saying she’d kill him. I’m sure she could protect herself. We just need to find her.” He said, trying to assure the both of them. It didn’t help the sinking feeling in Diego’s stomach. 

There were already police cars outside her house when they arrived, but upon further inspection, they weren’t for her. He had flashed his badge, and people had recognized Luther, so they were able to get in to take a look. Instead of finding the dead body of their sister on the floor, they found Harolds’. About eighty knives and other sharp objects were jammed into his body, his eyes open and unseeing. The room was in disarray. Everything that could be broken was broken. The table was in pieces, all of their pictures were smashed (Which Diego was secretly happy about). He put on gloves and scanned the room. On the floor was a ring he recognized as her engagement ring, she must have taken it off. Luther looked at him with a worried expression. Both of them knew what the other was thinking. Was this Vanya? 

Even though she was timid and kind, she was extremely powerful. They had seen this firsthand when training her, and even then she had been holding back, so if she wasn’t anymore, if that had been unleashed upon the world-

They had to find her. 

But they couldn’t discuss that here. 

The two brothers departed the house, with Diego slipping the ring into his pocket. They had gone to Griddys to discuss their next steps. 

“We need to call the rest of the Academy.” Luther said, staring at the ring that Diego had set on the table “She’s dangerous, as hard as that is to believe.”

“We can take her. It’s two versus one. And we’ve been training out whole lives, she’s only had a few months at best.”

“Diego, be serious. She may be only one person and about the same size as a field mouse, but she’s more powerful than we know. Theres a reason Dad put her on the medication. If he was afraid of her, then she really must be a force to be reckoned with.” Luther countered, his voice at a harsh whisper. 

“I don’t believe Dad. I won’t.”

“He may have been a maniac, but he wasn’t stupid.”

“You’re stupid. She’s our sister. She’s not a monster.”

“I never said that she was. I just don’t think that the two of us would be able to take her down. She beat us all in training, and she wasn’t going at top level.”

“Well we weren’t either.” Deigo bit. He didn’t feel like this would require everyone else. He was strong enough to do this on his own.

“I’m not questioning either of our strengths Diego, I’m questioning hers.” Luther said, a sympathetic look in his eyes.

“Shut the fuck up and I hate you.” Diego said, standing up to get another cup of coffee. God why was Luther always trying to relate to him? It was fucking annoying. He angrily slammed cash on the counter and tapped his foot impatiently on the floor. The nervous looking woman handed him another cup and he rejoined Number One at the table. 

“I still think we need to call everyone, just to warn them about what’s going on.” Luther said, confident and sure. Diego was positive that Luther was going to do it anyways.

“This is like the fifth time somethings happened to her this year. I doubt people will come running.” Diego muttered. “Besides, Vanya didn’t even want our help. She doesn’t like us.”

“That doesn’t matter. You heard that call. Not only is it our job as her siblings to help, it’s our job as people with powers. We’re the only ones that could possibly beat her. And it’s going to take all of us.” Luther’s voice had lowered to a whisper. “So swallow your pride. The fate of this city depends on us. She’ll destroy everything if we don’t stop her.”

“She-.” Diego wanted to argue, but he had seen Leonard. Just the thought of him made him feel a little queasy. He knew that they needed to find her, knew that he was just arguing with Luther because he was Number One and Diego was Number Two. “She’s our sister.”

“I know that. I never said she wasn’t. I’m just concerned for the other citizens.”

“Our sister wouldn’t hurt anybody. Remember when she’d cry when we stepped on ants as kids? It’s not in her code.” Diego countered, remembering the memory fondly. 

“You saw Leonard.”

“He was different. He deserved it.”

“Theres a reason she waited so long to leave him. Our sister wouldn’t hurt anybody, but if she loses control, theres no telling what could happen. We just need to find her. That’s our first step.”

“Yeah no shit dumbass.”

“I’m gonna-.” Luther lunged across the table and grabbed Diego by the collar, nearly knocking over the table in the process. When heads began to turn, Diego was dropped into his chair, smirking at a job well done. “Just keep an eye out for the news. If it’s a problem they’ll report on it. I’m just worried for her livelihood. Imagine how they’re going to spin this.” He shook his head and Diego looked down. She had lost her job and her apartment because people became aware of her powers, he could only fathom the affect it would have if she started being destructive.

“I’ll keep an eye on the station-” He said offhandedly, taking a sip of coffee. Luther punched him on the arm making him complain and rub it. It had hurt a lot more than probably what Luther intended. “Klaus is still in town, if we can find him. I’m actually really proud of him, he’s two months sober-.” The coffee he was drinking was shitty, but it was keeping him busy. If he positioned the cup just right, he didn’t have to see his brothers’ face-

“Diego look-.” Luther whispered, pointing to the TV in the corner. The woman on the screen was reporting on severe damage that had been done to several police vehicles and buildings. The area was rubble, cars were crushed like tin cans. There had been 8 injuries, 3 of those being critical. A young woman had been sighted on the scene. There was really no doubt about it. 

“Vanya.”

“We need to go. Now.”

“Yeah no shit. I’m driving.” Diego said, dropping his coffee and sprinting out to his car. If he helped his sister he would lose his job. He knew that. Maybe he didn’t like being a police officer. Maybe he didn’t like Eudora that much. Maybe this was meant to be. Luther was sitting in the passengers seat, but Diego was hesitating. 

“What the hell are you doing, we need to get there before she’s gone!” He exclaimed, slamming a hand on the dashboard. 

“If I go, I might lose everything. My job, my girlfriend.”

“If you don’t go, a hell of a lot more people are going to die! Diego. Snap out of it.” Luther yelled, shaking Diego’s shoulder. Slowly he put his keys in the ignition and turned it, driving just under the speed limit. Then he picked up the pace. 

“Fine. Fucking hell, I don’t care. I don’t care.” Maybe if he kept repeating it, it would be true. 

The pair arrived at the scene of the crime to find absolute destruction. And, luckily, the cause of it. Vanya, or somebody who looked like her, was standing confidently in a funnel of her own power. The police were standing behind their shields and their cars, some Diego recognized, some he didn’t, all shaking in their boots. Guns were cocked, but they wouldn’t win. Not when she was like this. The white ring in her pupils told him that much. Whenever it appeared, they would end their training because somebody would get hurt. She’d warned them. She’d told them all that things were going to turn south, that she was already loosing control. But they hadn’t listened. 

“Okay, here’s the plan.” Luther whispered, trying to take in the situation. Diego was just now realizing how wrong he was. “You got left, I go right. Try to catch her off guard, just enough that I can knock her unconscious.”

“What can I do?” Klaus’s crow like voice asked. Diego just about jumped out of his skin and whacked his brother on the head. 

“What the fuck!” Luther yelled, then caught himself and lowered his voice. “When did you get here?”

“We saw the explosions on TV, so I came here, and then I saw you two hiding over here and I want to help.” He smiled and glanced over at the scene unfolding 50 feet away. 

“Fine, you can be lookout.”

“I don’t want to be lookout! I can help! Watch this-.” Klaus contorted his face in concentration, but nothing happened. “Don’t laugh Ben, I’m trying! Hold on-.” Ben?

“How about Klaus tries to distract her?” Diego said, wanting Klaus to have a chance to prove himself.

“That’s too dangerous. Vanya could kill him!” Luther retorted, glaring at Diego. 

“LOOK! LOOK!” Klaus shouted, gesturing grandly at two very dead and very blue police officers standing two feet in front of them. Luther jumped backwards, and so did Diego but not as dramatically. One of the men’s hair was matted down with blood, and the entire left side of his face was blown apart, maybe from blunt force trauma, but maybe something else. The other guy had broken limbs and organs practically falling out of his body. From the looks of it he’d been thrown to the high ends of hell and hadn’t made it back. “Vanya can’t kill them, they’re already dead.”He grinned, then dropped it. “Sorry about that by the way.” 

“Wow. Okay, new plan. Klaus, do you think you can summon any more people? We’re gonna need all the help we can get.”

“Vanya just killed three more people! At this rate we’ll have an army in no time.” Klaus said, earning glares from everybody in the surrounding area. “Sorry.” He gulped, “Tough crowd.”

“Just do it, idiot.”

“Richtig.” He muttered. Diego swelled with pride as he watched Number Four summon three more ghosts with ease. I always knew he could do it. Diego thought happily then dropped his smile for the brood that usually clouded his face Fine, I rarely thought he could do it. If we’re going out, might as well be honest. Luther poked his head around the dumpster they were hiding behind and assessed the situation again. 

“Ok Diego, they don’t know what were doing. Hold off their bullets until we can get in and deal with her. I’ll go in and knock her unconscious. Sound good?” Everyone nodded. 

“Okay. On three. One, two, three!” He whisper shouted and Diego took off running, deflecting the bullets out of his way. The scene that unfolded before his eyes was almost in slow motion. The small armada of ghosts that Klaus had summoned was running forward, their faces broken out into war cries, Luther was lagging behind, ready to grab her once she was distracted and Diego was stopping the wave of bullets from his peers and watching her expression, waiting for any change. 

At first, there was nothing. Vanya stood in her bubble with a blank expression on her face and continued ricocheting bullets that hit her back at their senders. Then she caught eyes with Diego. It was slight, but just enough to make her drop her guard. Her eyes flashed their usual brown and her confidence fell. The white was slowly filtering back into her eyes, but she was fighting it. He stopped running realizing that she wasn’t doing this on her own accord. Luther didn’t seem to realize. He wrapped his arms around her and began to squeeze, just as they had talked about. 

“Luther stop!” Diego shouted, watching the brown fade from his sister eyes, watching as her panic made her lose control. “Stop! You’re freaking her out!” Luther didn’t listen. He never fucking listened. A massive blast of power sent him flying fifty feet backwards. Vanya kneeled on the ground, her face once again devoid of emotion. She locked eyes with him, but unlike last time, she was prepared. Her cloud of energy swirled around, and she was off her feet, walking confidently away from the scene of the crime. Diego jerked his hands downwards, sending all the bullets into the ground with an earth shattering bang. 

The world was silent. 

Nobody spoke, their shock enough to mute everyone in the crowd. Diego and Klaus sprinted off to the place where Luther had crash landed, only to find him on his feet already with minimal cuts and bruises. 

“What the hell happened.”

“Her powers are connected to her emotions idiot. She looked at me and she started snapping out of it, but you suffocating her only made her freak out more.” Diego snapped. 

“I was sticking to the plan.” Luther yelled back, “Maybe you shouldn’t have looked at her.”

“It was a stupid plan, and you should have listened to me when I was telling you that it was stupid.”

“You’re the idiot that thought we could do this on our own in the first place! This is your fault.” Luther countered, making Diego’s blood boil.

“People were dying you idiot! We had to do something!”

“Hey guys?”

“I’m the idiot? I said we needed back up! I told you!” 

“We let her get away! YOU let her get away.”

“Guys?” Klaus repeated, making both One and Two swivel around and yell ‘WHAT?’, finally seeing what he was pointing to. The wall of police officers were staring at them, either angrily or in shock. Diego had a nasty feeling he was about to lose his job. 

“If you couldn’t tell already, that was our sister. Number Seven.” Luther said, putting on his leader voice and stepping in front of 2 and 4. “Like we said earlier when we announced her existence, she’s extremely powerful and doesn’t know how to control herself.”

“It’s not her fault Luther.” Diego snapped, “Don’t blame her, Reginald hid it away from us all, she never had the time to train.”

“Number Two.” Luther barked, taking Diego aback. He hadn’t been called that in a while. “Now is not the time. Don’t argue with me.” 

“Don’t you dare.” Diego said, his voice dropping with anger and bitterness. “You’re no more a leader than I am. We became equals the moment I left that hellhole.” He addressed the crowd. “Vanya’s out there somewhere and she’s scared. I know she is. She’s not a monster.”

“Yeah, I agree with Diego- you all should know, she was always the nicest growing up. When she’s not going all possessed on us, she’d never hurt anyone. I don’t think she’s got a malicious bone in her body.”

“She’s dangerous!” 

“She’s killed!”

“She needs to be locked up!” The crowd found its voice and began to shout, turning on Diego and Klaus. Their protests became more aggressive as they advanced, crying and yelling for justice, demanding that she be locked up and controlled. 

“Number Two. She’s dangerous. Theres no doubt about it. She killed innocent people whether you acknowledge it or not.” Luther said.

“She’s Vanya. She’s our sister.” Diego protested. 

“She’s not Vanya like that.” Luther finished, putting a period on the conversation. “Listen up!” He roared over the crowd. “We can’t take her down if we don’t work together. It’s going to take the full force of the Academy along with whatever police and government help we can get.” The officers were silent. “I suggest you go home. Get some rest. She’s a bomb, we’ve got to take care of it, but we don’t want to cut the wrong wire okay? Nobody provoke her until we’ve got a solid plan in place.” 

“What if we tried talking to her? Maybe we could snap her out of it.” Klaus said, just low enough that only the three brothers heard it. Diego thought it was a great plan, and he punched Klaus in the arm to show his support. Luther just ignored him. Like always. 

“We need to get the rest of the Academy. Now.” He said simply, stomping off the scene and to Diego’s car, where he snatched Diego’s keys and told them all to get in despite Diego’s protests. 

The three of them arrived at their childhood home in record time. Pogo and Grace were waiting anxiously at the door, both fully aware of the situation. 

“Pogo. Have you notified anybody else of the situation?” Luther asked, falling comfortably into the position of leader even though it made Diego want to puke. 

“Not yet, Master Luther.” The chimp replied, following the boys to the mission room where their father would track the issues in their town and devise a plan. “Have you any idea to what set Miss Vanya off?”

“Yes.” Diego replied sullenly. “She left me a voicemail where she was hiding in her bathroom from Harold Jenkins. She killed him. We saw the body.”

“Ah. The most unfortunate. I hope she’s well.”

“She’d be better if Luther hadn’t tried to suffocate her.” Diego grumbled. 

“Master Luther!” Pogo cried. 

“She was out of control Pogo. She killed multiple police officers. I was only trying to do what needed to be done.” Luther said, staring intently at the small radio in the room, trying to hear for any disturbances. 

“I can’t believe thats the same person who used to cry when we stepped on ants as kids.” Klaus laughed. “Same person. That’s ridiculous.”

“It’s not the same person.” Diego spat. 

“Woah woah Mon frere. Physically it’s the same person.” Klaus laughed, backpedaling quickly. “Can you imagine if she’d had those when we were growing up? She’s probably end up being Number One.”

“We had our numbers before her powers got taken away dipshit.” Luther muttered. 

“Woah Luther is that jealousy I hear? Do you really care so much about the arbitrary numbers that Reginald gave us when he bought us?” Diego laughed. 

“No.” Luther said gruffly, clearly offended. 

“I mean imagine if she was raised to be as powerful as she is.” Klaus laughed. “She might have had an ego as bloated as yours Luther. Or maybe Allison’s,” Diego barked out a laugh. 

“You two need to get serious. People are dying out there and it’s because of her. Okay? Now is not the time to make jokes. Get out of here, go call everyone.”

“Aye Aye captain.” Klaus said, giving a dramatic salute and marching out of the room. Luther shook his head a focused his attention back on the radio. Diego followed Klaus into the living room and picked up his cell, calling Five. It rang once, twice-

“What.”

“What do you mean what. Haven’t you been watching the news?”

“I’ve been busy. What do you want.”

“Vanya lost control. There’s been severe casualties and we can’t stop her without the full force of the Academy.”

“She’s one person.”

“This is non-negotiable. We can’t stop her without you and Allison. Get your ass up here as soon as possible, okay?”

“Fine.” Five hung up. That was easy. Diego looked over at Klaus who had apparently said the words ‘Vanya’s gone on a rampage’ and Allison had immediately booked a flight to The City. The two boys sat together in the living room for a while. There was a lot to think about, but nobody said a word. How could they? Talking about what was going on would make it real. Would remind them that Vanya wasn’t really Vanya anymore, that maybe- just maybe, Luther was right about something. Diego couldn’t stomach that thought. 

She was Vanya. She was the kid who cried when they would step on ants, the one who would always check up on them after missions, the one who had loved them all too much to admit that they were never going to love her back. It was funny how their roles had reversed.

He was running over the situation in his head, going over what had gone wrong. Maybe he should have forced her into the car when he confronted her. Maybe he should have acknowledged that her training was messing with her, maybe if he had just stopped to listen to her when she was predicting the future none of this would have happened.   
He wanted so badly to blame Harold for everything. He was the abuser, he was the one who threatened her life. But Diego knew that it wasn’t that simple. Vanya had started getting worse for wear long before her final outburst. She hadn’t eaten in days once they had begun training her, she nearly killed herself on pain medication and alcohol the day she’d found out about her powers. It had been killing her, slowly but surely long before she left the academy for good. He should have known. He should have stopped, given her a chance to get her bearings. He should have never gone to the press. Never dealt with the situation without her, never left her behind. 

But he did. 

Now she wasn’t herself. She was a creature of their own design. A monster.

And Diego knew that she could never come all the way back from that.


End file.
